The Climate Curry!

 Funny sounds the title of the blog today, right? Meant it to be so. Let me now 'explicate' it. Curry is what India is known for, right? What is a curry as it is typically understood, especially abroad? It is often a mix of veggies, with a seasoning added to it to make it unique. That is the way eateries make it.

Well, the climate currently is quite like the curry. It is a 'season'ed mix. In the morning, it is quite winter like, a little cold, slightly misty. As the day drags on, it is sizzling hot, almost like the summer. Tired with all such mix-up, it often rains in the evening. It is quite a curry, a mix-n-mash of all the seasons in a day! Hence the title of this piece!

Reminded me of a story i read as a child. It dealt with parents who had two daughters. One of the girls was married off to a farmer, and the other to a potter. The parents were happy that their daughters married in to the same town. The problem emerged when they had to bless them. If they wished for blissful rains, the potter's wife grumbled, and if they wished for a proper hot summer, the farmer's wife cried!

Given the climate curry these days, better to be careful as wishes would have to be almost as unpredictable as the current climate! What say?😀

Pratima@It blows cold and hot these days!

Karna

 The great epic, the Mahabharata, is literally a treasure trove as far as the variety of human personalities goes. Unlike the Ramayana, moreover,  the Mahabharata is not peopled with ideal and/or not idealistic persons. The characters in this epic are complex, and greyish in shade. Their motives are convoluted, intricate and perplexing. 

Karna would be the best example of such unique characterisation in this epic. Of the multiple facets of/to his personality, let us in this small, little blog, concentrate on his friendship.  

Karna is in a way the only friend Duryodhana has. If Duryodhana is the antagonist of the epic, Karna would be the contrast to the protagonist, let us say, Arjuna, or all the Pandavas, if you so wish.  Karna is not a stock character, unlike Dushyashana, for example. He is a unique, rounded character. Anyways, right now, i do not want to discuss his characterisation.

In this blog, i would like to discuss his personality and his role as a friend. If we compare him with Sudama, for instance, he appears to be cowed down by his comparatively mightier, richer, more well-known friend.

In fact, i would like to go a step ahead so as to maintain that he is never a friend because he never considers himself an equal to his richer, more powerful friend. Friendship can continue if both the parties concerned consider each other equal. In other words, he appears to be more a dependent than a friend.  

As a dependent, he is more a boot-licker. He hardly advises and/or resists Duryodhana who often goes wrong. His servility is such that he becomes the alter ego of his evil friend. I suppose that is what ruins his fundamentally good personality. 

A good friend would never support one in bad deeds. In fact, a good friend would point out your faults, lacunae so that you can work on these to improve, to work on one's personality. Karna fails this acid test.

Yet another aspect of a good friendship is one's  friendship with one's own self. Till the end, and especially after the Kunti episode, we do not feel that he could finally find his own real self. So he is always defined through his relationships.

As he is not a good friend with his own self, neither is he a true friend with anyone else. Hence his story is a tragic story of wasted potential. In brief, even as a friend, the character teaches the reader a lot about friendship flourishing under self respect!

Pratima@ A friend in need not be the best friend. A friend who shows us the mirror, who acquaints us with ourselves is the truest and the best friend.

Child like or?

 Over the last weekend, i got a wonderful chance to attend a training programme for teachers of English. The trainees were from urban and/or semi urban Maharashtra. They teach English to students from the higher  secondary , that is, the eighth to the tenth, section. There were two groups of the trainees, teachers who teach English to students from English medium schools, and those who teach English to students from Marathi medium schools.

As the workshop was organised by an extremely well-known educational group famous for its commitment to education, its organisation as such was absolutely committed, and quite flawless.

The problem was dual. To begin with, I was face to face with teachers about whom my students often grumble. Their eternal grouse is that they never were taught English properly during their school days, and i am sorry to admit that my students' complaint is not a 'late teen, early twenties' whine. The state/level of English of many a trainee left much to desire, and that is an understatement. Honestly!

The other aspect of the problem was the teaching methods and materials advocated. I think we have to remember that an eighth standard student these days, around thirteen years old, would be quite aware of the world, given the multi channel t.v., and the ubiquitous social media.

 Early teens these days are not exactly ignoramuses. For such students, whose textbooks are rather good, can one think of card games ( they would, unfortunately, be playing extremely complicated, in multiple ways, games on their mobiles!), and other such stuff, as language learning materials and methods? Would they not nicher a smirk at such stuff? Would not it make them feel that language learning is ridiculous rather than fun!?!

Well, under the rubric of the communicative approach to language and literature teaching, which was real popular in the eighties, and some four decades later now, is rather passe in the AI dominated world today,  teaching of English often gets too simplistic in India.

To begin with, the communicative approach, an offshoot of the Chomsky-Hymes theory, as developed by Widdowson, insists on the  authenticity of materials, and hence, in a way, using realia, for example, as one of the ways of the methods of language teaching.  Realia need not at all be simplistic!

 The British Council does suggest very simple games, et al, but that stuff is for the primary, if not the pre-primary, school children tops. Anybody who has read the Wilkins/Widdowson/Swain writings on the communicative approach would know that these theoreticians insist on authentic materials, not simplistic materials and simplified methods.

Well, when typical traditional academics is competing with the Google master on the one hand, and the super glossy Byju type of educational materials and methods, on the other, can we continue harping on simplification, which, incidentally the Communicative Method never ever advocated? That is the real question. 

Otherwise, we would continue producing half baked learners who submit googled stuff or find the Byju types superior to their teachers! Time we woke up from the blind fold of excessive simplification which would dull with extreme boredom the super active brain of an early teenager!

Pratima@ Simplicity is not simplification!

 

Tests that threaten not!

 Online often there are quite amusing items. One such fun item is Personality Tests. The social media is overflowing with these. "Know your personality through the colour you like", "The animals you like and your personality", "The drink (coffee or tea, with or without milk/sugar/honey/lemon, the details are infinite) you like and your Personality ", the list is endless.

It is fun to take such tests just for the heck of it. The results are hilarious. Take the test called 'pets you like'. True, you love a dog, but because you had to raise an abandoned kitten who grew up to be a kinky kitty, what would the tests talk about such bi-polar extremes? Then comes the analysis as per the breed. Do not worry, there are details not only about pedigree, but also about the strays!

I suppose the only accurate information such a 'pet' test can provide would be if you have a tortoise for pet which, it seems, is not at all  uncommon. I suppose, such tests should be taken more for fun, like the predictions per the sun or the moon sign (both would be diametrically opposite on any given day!) that are abundantly available in the newspapers, online, and so on. Sheer timepass and free of cost fun! What say?

Pratima@When, and if, down is your mood/such a test your spirit uplift could!

The better cure

 Womenophonia! Well, these days this 'ophobia' suffix is quite upmarket. Everyone else than us is '-ophobic'. Just listen to what the opposing parties in politics say of each other, and you would find this suffix plastered everywhere. Personally, though, i find this 'with us' or 'against them', and its alternative version 'with them' or 'against us' viewpoint rather confusing and quite problematic. 

Am mentioning all this rhetoric because this exclusionary vision is at its worst when pitted against women. You are a feminist (of the speaker's brand) or you belong to the era when dinosaurs freely  roamed the earth. Hence, according to this viewpoint, you are a woman means by definition you are anti men! 

Remembered all this as November 25 is, as per the  global/the U.N. edict, a day dedicateed to the safety of women, a day anti- violence -against women. Violence against women is not merely physical. In fact, it is mostly verbal and/or psychological.

 Hence it is so deeply rooted that it is the most difficult cancerous trait to be uprooted. It is in the very veins of mostly men, and quite many women, too. Often women hate and demonise other women so much because they are not themselves secure in their own skins.  They tend to overlook the fact that patriarchy  dominates women, but it dislocates men in multiple ways, too!

 Given such 'complementary' world views on both the  sides, how to prevent injustice and violence against women? I suppose, the only solution lies in further and more enabling oneself as a woman. Part of this process would be precautionary measures constantly as there is no use crying over the spilt milk. Precaution against violence leads to prevention of violence. Period!

Pratima@ In 'precaution against' lies the 'prevention of' violence against women! 

No means NO!

No means No! Why is it that this simple statement is never understood? In fact, in our short life, there are very many long stretches wherein this inability of others to take a 'no' for a 'no' causes absolutely unnecessary headaches, and possibly other life style dis-eases.

 Who are these thick-skulled and hard- hearted people? They could be the so-called relatives who often do not understand this simple, two lettered word. At times, one feels that they do not at all care for you or  your difficulties, but they expect everyone else to respect their choices.

 Yet another candidate could be people at the workplace. Students, for  example, who would remember you only when they need a favour. Such people know how not to take a no, i suppose. 

The worst of all such slugs are men, the so-called admirers. They behave as if one must be grateful for their most unwanted attention and their despicable slandering if one continues to  completely ignore them. Honestly, no cure for such whom none can make understand a NO!

Pratima@Understand an obvious 'no' for a 'NO'/Even when apparently the word you refuse to know!  

To be or not to be...

 To be or not to be. That was Hamlet's dilemma. Why have I quoted it in the title of the blog today? Well, because I want to add a word to it. In my version, that quote should get re-written as "to be or not to be... straightforward".

In the world today, indeed it is a big issue. Being clean, being straightforward, being genuine, being sincere is considered being stupid today. A good person is now considered unfashionably foolish. 

Undoubtedly, even earlier such a version of reality sure would be there, but the percentage would be much lower. Why, look at the mythology which is in a way the bedrock of the imaginary, of the identity of a community, of a nation. In The Mahabharata, Dharmaraj, Bheem and Arjun, the comparatively more famous Pandava's, for instance, were felicitated for their ideal conduct. Nobody mocked them as "poor thing", and none glorified Duryodhana, why not even Karna!

Now a days, if someone manages that, too, somehow, to get you something that you absolutely do not deserve, not only would you lick any organ offered, why, you would for such a person kill an innocent, if not physically, at least reputation wise! And you are up to all such tricks out of fear of exposure, of losing the goodies not deserved,  but surely not out of any loyalty for anyone. 

Currently, the more twisted, the more wicked, the meaner you are, you are socially more acceptable. Why, look at how film after film, the negative characters, the quirky issues are glorified. As a film critic and a journalist, i did long time ago write about the Ram Gopal Verma films which in a watershed way institutionalised such a pattern. 

Well, i do not mean that instead of dealing with the negativities, they should be pushed under the carpet. Not at all. Why though the desparate need to completely ignore the positive? Look at the media circus for the last week or so. It is about the gruesome murder in a nauseating way.

In the meanwhile, so many positive wonderful things have happened. But all these are pushed back, and some gruesome story and theories about it hog the headlines the whole day. Even when one does feel sympathy for the lady who died horribly, one wonders why she did not walk out, given the fact that she was so very modern and bold! Why did not her friends, who are now sobbing and sighing, help her out then? The entire saga is sheer fictionalising a horrid crime. 

Why do we as a society scandalise in an extreme negative way Everything? Why are we mad after empty glamour? Why do film stars (whose actual contribution to film making would be just two per cent) and self centred sportspeople, especially cricketers, appear role models to stupid youngsters? Let us not mention certain politicians and their antics! In a way, it could be due to the AV media, accessible in the drawing room itself and gobbled up by the ladies in the family in the company of their brood. If an impressionable child grows up watching weird stupid films/serials and silly cartoons, what else to expect?

Sad but sick! Hence the titular query because the moment such versions of reality overtake all that is finer, whatever perspective you might choose to analyse it from, for sure such a decadent society full of mindless individuals is just a step away from imploding self destruction.  Then none would require to ask the Hamlet question! That would be the perfect solution and the only consolation!

Pratima@Yes, paradigm shifts constantly cause tremors. Why allow them to destroy?!? Hence this red flag of a blog!

Reverse Mentoring:The Need of the Hour

 The new millennium began with mentorship as a big ticket idea. Not that it was not thought of. Indeed the concept has always been afloat. It was just that it gained a centrality since the first decade of the new millennium. 

Very many paradigms along this concept emerged. The idea was backed up by quoting examples from the antiquity, et al. The American variety of mentoring would be different from the Japanese, and yet both could feed off each other. In other words, the mentoring concept flourished. 

In a way, it was more experience and wisdom oriented. Come Covid, and a radical paradigm shift inevitably emerged. To begin with, skill sets became more important than wisdom. Such skill sets inevitably had their own tool kits. Millennials to Gen X, Y, Z, or whatever have you were excellent at such computer and communication technology oriented skill sets and tool kits. The 'oldies' in a company or an institution were initially technology shy.

Reverse Mentoring helped in such a scenario. As a lecturer, for example, initially online teaching took time to get used to. Very soon such skills were acquired. In the meantime, emerging out of emergency, the younger generation accepted the reversed role, and taught their seniors how to be technology savvy.

Sure the upside down, topsy turvy paradigm is good in multiple ways. It proves that learning has no age. It proves, moreover, that a true commitment to one's profession and one's own career constantly requires acquiring new skills. It ingrains humility, makes the workplace more equitable and inclusive, and thus more sensitised which is a great run as far any professional field goes. 

In the Indian mythology, there is  the Shri Datta concept. He makes hundreds of guru's of all sorts, animals to the divine. He learns from each and every one.  That is the real modern spirit that all of us need to survive gracefully and creatively!

Pratima@ When we were young, our elders taught us so much. It is now the turn of the new generation to provide the technical know how and its relevance to the efficiency at every level. Thus would emerge the ideal work-life balance,  too, I suppose. 

A Special Day

 November 21 is a real special day. Dunno why? Well, let me tell you, it is a day dedicated to the television.  It may appear quite simplistic,  rather crazy, to dedicate a day to 'television' of all the things. 

So may think the  Gen Next who now constantly have the very computer in their palms in the form of mobiles. Ours, however, was the era of pleasant and gentle discipline. Till their youngest son passed his XII, my otherwise generous and kind parents did not want a television set at home. 

Very few households would have a t.v. set. Important events such as the Olympic matches would have to be shared with family friends and neighbours. There was only one channel, and it was black and white, moreover.

The technology might have  been simple, but the content was indeed the king. The serials used to be based either on the great Indian epics or would be rooted in simply superb literary texts. 'Chitrahar' with its great Bollywood songs every Sunday morning and great films on Sunday afternoons formed our staple weekend diet.

Always watched together in a tightly rationed way, all these were family programmes, moreover, be it the 'Surabhi' quiz or 'Phool khile hai Gulshan Gulshan' by Tabassum who passed away recently. Why, many people had even their favourite news broadcasters! 

All that straightforward innocence and clean conscience of our teenage years vanished from the small screen when the multi-channel colour t. v. invaded. Well, come the LPG process of the early nineties,  and the living room based family friend, called the t.v., morphed into an Idiot Box. 

By the early years of the new millennium, individual t.v. sets in each room with the private space of each member of the family took away the togetherness, and replaced it with niche programmes catering to different generations. 

Now, anyways, is the era of "band kar lo duniya mutthi me", literally the 'mobile' universe at your fingertips.  Somehow, however, the magical touch is missing though wonderful channels such as the Discovery, History Today, National Geographic, ET, too, are available alongwith the "breaking news" twenty four by seven, not to mention the impossible "k" type serials. 

One wonders though if these, too, are avidly watched as more "attractive" alternatives are available via the mobile, not to mention the eternal sports matches and the ubiquitous cartoons on the multi channel t.v.

Well, as we were young and growing, the t.v. indeed was Alladin's lamp, unlike the Pandora's box that it is today!

Pratima@The t.v. is some proof of how technology is Alladin's lamp. It is for us how to rule the genie in the lamp!

Friend

 Who is a friend? Rather easy to define , but very difficult to meet such a refining one, right? No, i am not talking of fair weather friends. No, i am not talking of timepass friends. Nope, i am not talking of gossipmonger friends. Well, i am not talking of these, and other such, coz they are literally dime a dozen. They are very easily and comfortably replaceable so much so that neither they nor you would even register such a change!

Are our pets our best friends? For sure! In fact, they are much much better than many human beings. They genuinely care for you, and your happiness. They adapt themselves so completely and totally for you that they are almost human(e), and expect nothing except love and care in return.

Is music the best friend ever? Yes, it indeed is. Most arts, in fact, sure are. A film, a touching tune, a canvas awakening sharply in you creative surge are great friends, too.

So are your plants. They feel you, your care of/for them. Literally they can bloom for you. No wonder, the Bose experiments are our daily experiences. Time spent with them sensitises you more.

Books, too, sure make you better. Every line therein is full of all that is the best in being human, imagination,intuition, intelligence, ideas, concepts, literally the works as these vicariously lived realities work through varieties of styles to reach the great experiences to us. 

In fact, so many are such wonderful friends, including new technology properly used, real great company, that you would feel one life is not enough and is absolutely inadequate without them. Such is their animation that you are never lonely even when alone. 

Is there then any need of the physical friend because all these have the best in them of human(e) condition, without the frivolity, hypocrisy, duplicity, self centered one-up-manship, cruel viciousness of many so-called 'human' beings!

These, never the fake falsities, never ever ill-treat you, always tell you the truth, and are forever there for you! What else can one want from or need in a friend!?!The best buddies indeed! Move over baddies, the so called human beings!

Pratima@ Music in/of the soul/Of real friendship, the real goal!

Weather Predictions

 Weather these days is both wither(ed) and whether! In brief, it is getting impossible to predict it. Much worse it is in this sense than even the political ambience which can turn any weathercock into a fan in a Mumbai household; in other words, forever 'turning and turning' in that eternal gyre, called the mosquito mesh in Bombay.

True, it is extremely easy to mock and laugh at the IMD and its official predictions. Rampant are poor jokes that suggest that wisdom lies in carrying a raincoat the day the IMD predicts a clear day full of sunshine! Well, the climate is actually more trans-national than the financial acumen of any and every MNC!

The counter question to such an argument would be how Punjabrao Dakh manages precision in his predictions. As an individual, he seems to have studied and understood better the 'cloud', both in the sky and of the data variety! Yet another reason could be that as an individual, he has to predict properly as his own individual image is at stake, while in a government institution like the IMD, there could be a total lack of accountability.

Remembered all this info because both Punjabrao and the IMD have predicted thunder, lightening and rains just when winter was sett(l)ing in!

In brief, the climate currently is like the moods and whims of a powerful narcissist, constantly shifting in focus, and yet. followed by the hapless dependents. The best solution to both these tough situations would be to study better the trend and patterns, right?

Pratima@ Ignoring the drastic effects of climate change is overlooking the future, which we have borrowed from the present!

Of Man's Discomfort

 Does the title of this blog discomfort you a little? Possibly, yes! Well, on the one hand, it echoes the famous beginning of Milton's Paradise Lost. On the other, it seems to suggest what many may, and do, consider impossible, man's discomfort.

Well, November 19 is precisely an eye opener against such set (of) ideas as it is a day dedicated to men's welfare. Surely, in the popular imagination, men's discomfort would get reduced to a wife worse than Xanthippe, a shrewd and shrewish mother-in-law who could be the very source of all mother-in-law jokes, and so on.

Actually, November 19, in my opinion, can be a day that questions and corrects this  'men will be men' mindset. I think it is a clarion call for a fair society wherein none is inferior or superior due to gender. It is a day that celebrates our humanity, and neither berates, nor belittles, nor eulogizes a man as, and/or just because, he is a man. 

True, given the way history evolved from the matrilineal to the patriarchal, once the socio-economic set-up settled in to agrarian, and onwards, way of life, men had it comparatively easier than women. And, yet, the patriarchal point of view victimises men, too. A rather obvious and simplified example of such a way of thinking could be the simple and well-known fact that men are not supposed to express emotions, men must always have a stiff upper lip that could shame the British image at this achievement!

And, yes, indeed, it is true that women, too, can be unjust. In my opinion hence this day should be celebrated as working towards a fair, just society wherein neither sex suffers the gender injustice. Instead, there is a human(e) attempt at creating a sensitive and sensitised society wherein prejudices do not b(l)ind either gender. In to that land of kind and considerate humanism, let our future bloom like thousand flowers!

Pratima@Liberation involves getting rid of all sorts of prides and prejudices!

Algorithm Speak

 Have you ever heard the term "Algorithm Speak"? Nope? Do no worry though. You indeed are in august company, including that of yours truly. 

Well, due to the AI, the moment you touch the screen, it as well as the start operation, secretly start believing that you have Only that particular liking, and thousands of links/videos, and what have you, with every other site the similarities are infinite,start bombarding you.

Thus speaks the algorithm. In a way, it is thus that the I/T reinforces and solidifies perceptions of the algorithm. Intelligent indeed. Yet highly repetitive. Also hence quite boring and bothersome. What say?

Pratima @ The algorithm math is the toughest. Yet everywhere!

Of Sibling Bondage

 The title of this blog, as you have must have easily guessed, is a take on the famous moniker of  Maughm's novel. The original text is a rather sad and quite complex bildungsroman, a coming of age narrative. The story our blog today explores is, on the contrary, absolutely sweet, cute and 'loving' every which way. It tells the sweet story of a young love hidden from others, and yet shared not only with each other, but with one's best buddy till then, the sibling. Hence this title!

I would not know the occasion et al as the video which enfolds the story is quite obviously a clip. It shows the two British princes, William and Harry.  It is some game or a pre-dance ritual, or whatever. It shows the elder brother 'showing' his bride-to-be to the young confidant.

Even when the royalty is involved, everything about the cute video is so very absolutely normal, the elder brother sharing through subtle gestures and silent glances 'the' secret without letting anyone else know, she blushing, the confused younger sibling finally cottoning on to the scenario, and the stuff. Well, that is the fairy tale that  makes life truly royal, right?

Well, be it the princes or the common citizens, such lovely bonds are typical. Sure life may add kaleidoscopic contours to that first visceral friendship, the bond with the siblings, and in multiple ways. And yet it stays. 

Sure one knows in a very mature way that the adult whom one now knows would obviously be different from the kid you once adored as your own self. Much water has flown under the bridge! Yet the 'other' unmistakable influences cannot completely wither away this original visceral bond.

It does not matter hence that we hardly meet each other. Neither does the physical distance matter. When we meet, however briefly, and after months, the feel is as if nothing has changed. The threads  forever remain shared, never get shred.

May be, it is the shared DNA design or, may be, the same blood coursing  through the veins, may be , it is this basic biology or the first formative years, the sibling bond never goes out of fashion. 

We may meet each other briefly, after months, at a quite public event, in a large group, and yet we cannot forget one another, each deeply rooted in the very veins of the other. It would hence be difficult to act crude, or badly, in front of an elder sibling or the protective feel for the  kid brothers continues even when you get a nagging  suspicion that they may resent it. Indeed steadfast and forever for/giving are the sibling bonds, born and bred and brought up together!

Pratima@ Child is the father of man, said Wordsworth. The sibling is the mirror to self, says Pratima.

 

Habit Formation

 Remember the Pavlovian dog and mice? With the perfect mix of reward and punishment, they could be trained to associate a noise/a bell/ a lever with food, and thus would  salivate even without food at a later stage.

Well, we human beings are different. We consider ourselves far far superior to animals, but our habits are never formed, bell or no bell. No lever can leverage our lethargy. Any number of "do good, feel good" sites would tell us to continue for one and twenty days. But most human 're-solves' are of the new year variety, alas!

Do not believe me? Try making the resolve of not forwarding a message without cross checking it. On this group that i am on, there was this message about Rani Bang slipping in to coma. Neither the internet nor the t.v. seemed to flag the news that is important indeed.

Here is wishing Dr. Rani Bang "get well soon"! For the Bang Couple, here is an earnest wish that the rumour is a lie. And here is wishing careless group admin the habit of first cross checking the fact(s)!

Pratima@ Habit is identity!

Perspective

 When we were young, once we had gone to Ajoba's, Aai's father's, village. One night there, we saw the Milky Way for the first time. What a lovely and unforgettable sight! It could be seen so very clearly and distinctly because we saw it at Gursale, a very small village, almost a hamlet, away from all possible city lights. In fact, there was no electricity there. In a way, that was the first aspect of the perspective, that is to say, how oft the conveniences of modern life take us away from the eternal wonders.

Yet the true perspective the sight thence implanted in me was that of the hugeness, the largeness of that grandeur called the universe. Hence never ever have i been able to take any achievement of mine too seriously or to let it go to head in any way.

 That shivering night vision forever keeps intoning to me the song that the late evening wind was whistling,  the melody of the infinite, eternal and grand world. This perspective has forever taken root in me, and meets me time and again whenever I come across anything superb, be it a Shakespeare play or the Milton poem or the Ninth Symphony  by Beethoven or a great abhang by Dyaneshwara. 

And yet that infinity has not been able to teach me the irrelevance of grief, of the pain due to injustice born out of conscious viciousness. I wonder why though. If the unique brilliant sight could germinate in me the perspective that worlds within, and beyond, murmur the minutiae of my achievements, it should have blunted forever the sharp twinge of griefs, of injustices heaped, of victimisation.

Well, sure it has made me resolve forever not to consciously add any sadnesses or hurts to the huge mound, almost Himalayan in perspective, of those already existing. And, yet, this piddly little heart of mine would continually cry inconsolably for all griefs, whether the perspectives be big or small. 

In brief, the heart and the soul have reasons about/of which the head never knows nothing!

Pratima@ We may look beyond the solar systems, and yet we continue to pine for that just world,that fair vision that enables every innocence to flourish, to bloom.

Childhood is fun!

 As it is November 14, i thought I would share this truly telling joke about childhood.

 No, i am not going to repeat that 'rum' (pun strictly not intended) one about how childhood is like getting drunk as in both the cases, everyone else, except you yourself, remembers what you did!

No, i am not going to repeat that joke about Corona childhood wherein Mom yells at the child when she returns home, " pachas pachas bar hath dho lo, nahin to corona aa jayega" aka the Corona terror the Gabbar way!

Well, the joke i want to tell goes as follows: A bothersome brat, who was  equally  troublesome as a teenager, goes down the memory lane, and decides to visit his childhood home as he is now nostalgia personified. He knocks on the door, and asks the residents if he can re-visit his childhood home. The horrified residents bang the door on his face. They are his long suffering parents! Well, the moral of the story is, aka food for one is poison for another, one generation's childhood is another generation's terror!😂

Pratima@ Childhood IS fun! So this attempt to tickle the funny bone, of course, figuratively!😂😂😂

The Worst Addiction

 You may wonder at the title of this blog. Well, yes, any addiction is indeed BAD! Really, differentiating them degree wise is truly tough. It is essential though. Want to know why? 

Well, i would have to tell you a short little story. A week ago, i got a call from an unknown number. The person at the other end seemed extremely agitated. The voice, very low, was breaking. It turned out to be a student who had studied online the BCA Compulsory English course. 

As his version appeared rather bleak, and as he seemed emotionally unstable, i chose to talk to his parents. His hapless and helpless mother called up at about 1 p.m.  The story she unfolded for about forty five minutes was of her son's social media and mobile addiction.

The way she presented the case, all the typical qualities of an addict were very much visible; lying to others, self destructive tendencies, withdrawal woes, and so on.

Why do i call it the worst then? Because, unlike drugs or alcohol, mobile mania is not socially immediately recognised and/or rejected to be an addiction. Most people these days are inseparable from their mobiles, an appendix to their palms and fingers. 

Any number of people would not talk to you, but whip out their mobiles and start looking in to it. At times, this "in the mobile screen" version of the ostrich variety is an extremely arrogant and quite crude message to you of how much hateful you are to them, and how they absolutely want to avoid you.

An addict whose palm is forever fevicol fixed to the contraption and whose eyes are glued to the screen is hence difficult to decipher, to locate, and that is why, it is the worst addiction. Every other addiction, drinks, drugs, is obviously visible. The mobile addiction is difficult to decipher, detect and hence the worst. What do you say?

As for the student, i suggested to his mother that he should be encouraged to use Duolingo, for instance. Thus suddenly the mobile would not be yanked away from him, he would in turn learn a language instead of the horrible mobile games such as some PUBG, et al. Hope it has worked. I did send two messages wishing him well. Absolutely no response though. 

That entire episode disturbed me a lot because of the invisibility of the addiction. Hence the name game of this blog!

Pratima@Thin is the line between liking a mobile and the addiction thereof. The worst addiction it is in my opinion as it is invisible apparently.

Yes, change happens

 It is typically argued that most Indians follow film stars closely, and hence it is wonderful to know that things are indeed changing for the better in that la-la-land. 

Let me give you a few concrete examples that are sure to have a solid influence on the huge, typical Bollywood, following.  Many film stars are accepting most happily the birth of a girl child, and are, in fact, celebrating the fact. That surely is a good sign because many followers are sure to follow this trend.

Similarly, many film stars are happy with just one daughter as the entire progeny. In an India where even the so-called educated fans would be obsessed with the birth of a son, this fact, though even today stranger than fiction, is a good trendsetter indeed!

 Jaya Bachchan's advice/invite to her granddaughter may still be a little too risque for her followers though! 😂 Well, most filmy fans hail from two tier or three tier cities where this kind of  'forward' advice would appear rather a little too sensational, a shocker for sure!😂😂😂

Beyond that though, the soft power of the bollywood is such that times, they are a-changing, which is good because change is the only constant!

Pratima@ Inevitable change makes stars and fans emerge shining thus. Well, yes, change does happen, and for the better! 

Education Day

 It is the Education Day today, it seems. So it is declared by the UN. Indeed truly necessary it is at least in India as there is a huge lot of population that needs proper formal education denied due to socio-econocomic contexts.

The term education comes from the root, educare. Literally, it means to take across. That is what education does for us. It takes us across ignorance to knowledge indeed. Thus we traverse from falsehoods to the real, genuine truth about ourselves, about life, and so on!

Indeed education is like the oxygen. Absolutely essential, it gives a direction to our life. It shares the best and the bright with us. It opens up endless avenues.

All need education, but especially the downtrodden. May be, if they cannot come to school due to various types of cultural-socio- economic causes, schools should ago to them. Remember the Mountain-Mohammad debate!

Education is the bestest friend, next only to pet animals. Education truly makes men out of monkeys! Well, animals are born educated and learn so much about thriving in an extremely difficult context. Yet, man,  the weakest survivor in the chain of events, can become strong through education. Long live education!

Pratima@Education makes men out of monkeys!

EQ

 Time was when one was considered intelligent if one was real good at maths and science. The educational scenario has undergone a sea change by now. As a result, the very concept of education has changed laterally, and radically.  

For one thing, education is getting pricier, and hence privileged, by the day. In private universities, students who come from other regions do pay a hefty, real steep amount as fees, especially in comparison with the students who study in regular 'public' institutes.

Beyond such ugly realities, the very concept of education is changing. For example, as part of 'teaching skills', a student is to have multiple quotients/abilities such as social quotient, spiritual quotient, et al. The most important of all these emotional quotient.

EQ is made of the ability to understand and use a very positive response to a given situation, the characters involved and the emotions thus generated.  It is a process of controlled involvement in emotions, and for  this, it is necessary to first know and understand/process properly one's own emotions and the emotions of those we meet. Once we understand our own emotions, we can control them through positivities. 

Indeed, it is necessary to learn the techniques that would make us better, nicer, kinder to self and others.  Thus will be developed the trick of always responding, at every level. We would then in every situation be pro-active, and never re-active.

How very necessary, in addition, to laugh off/at all, petty to big, tensions, one of the best ways of the pro-active response than the immediate reaction. Long live the EQ!

Pratima@Emotions are like wild horses. It is necessary to tame them first, so as to ride them well, right?

Work is where...

 Meeting one's past students is quite a pleasure. Many of my past students stay in touch regularly. It is indeed wonderful to know they are doing well.

Had a unique experience yesterday. Was travelling on the bus. Suddenly the woman bus conductor said, "recognise me, madam?" Oh,yes, she was my post graduate student almost a decade ago.

Long time back, i wrote a news item on women bus conductors. As there were then very few such specimens, my piece, based on many interviews, was much appreciated. Well, yesterday it was a 'that article come alive' experience.

She talked of her future plans of appearing for department exams, etc. She appeared resigned to working on the available job. Personally, i find such mismatches between training and actual job a little worrisome. It is happening around us constantly though, engineers working as bank employees, a distinction holding mechanical engineer working as a computer expert as such a switch is very easy for an intelligent person, anyways.

Well, i suppose, the best way to look at it is 'whatever gives one satisfaction and contentment is the best profession'. Work is where the heart is!

Pratima@ A dream job is a job that satisfies you at multiple levels.

Memories yet again!

 It is the Tripuri pournima day today. Without fail, a huge 'miss you' day! Aai used to herself make the special 'Tripura wat'. It is a huge process of wick making, but she did not mind it. Actually, both Aai-Papa were not terribly rigid about any religious details, but they sincerely performed all such major rituals that add a unique lyricism to the ordinary daily life, may be.

Aai used to next perform the Aarti, having lighted up the special wick. We used to light up, as I did this evening, our front yard with lots of  'panati's', the Diwali special earthen dia's. As part of her seventy-fifth birthday celebration, the three of us used seventy-five earthen días in a bouquet design at the celebration site. Later, on the Tripuri Pournima day, i used all these to light up an entire Shiv Mandir nearby.  She loved the sight.

If one understands the myth of Tripurasura, may be, it means scorching out all the bad negativities in us. It could, may be, mean transcending the Triguna Maya, and attain the ultimate bramhananda, may be. On a mundane level, it could mean getting ready to drive away the approaching bitter cold days ahead, may be 

 In a 'secular' way, the day is important for all, the Hindu's, the Sikh's, the Jain's. The day thus proves the beauty of our multi-stranded existence through this respecting-all-religions way! Happy Dev Diwali, the official day of the ritualistic Dev Diwali that 'finally ends' the fortnight long Diwali celebrations.

Pratima@Beauty of the purity of memories!

Cancer Conscious

Along with my Ph.D. studies, i was in a big way into writing articles, syndicated all over the South  of India, and Orissa, for newspapers in English. I wrote a few series as well. I wrote, a few articles on women and psychiatry, for example. Yet another series that I attempted dealt with cancer and women.

It was quite some experience. Well, cancer is in a way an auto-immune disease. It is as if your body rebels against you. There was this lady who first had breast cancer. Luckily she had noticed the symptoms quite at the right time. It was hence at an early enough stage. Apparently, it got cured. It re-surfaced yet again, but it could be controlled with chemo, and so on.

Later, she developed uterine cancer. Her uterus had to be removed, and due to certain complications, even the breasts. Of course, as per the medical thinking these days, there was a breast re-constuction, too. I can understand it if it is for absolutely medical reasons. Apparently, the reason behind breast re-constuction is a woman's self perception, and that i do have a problem  with. Such 'pre-conceptions' lead to body shaming and trolling if one is very fat, for example. 

Her reaction was interesting. When she had to remove both the uterus and the breasts, she said she felt less a woman. This is the way, women are perceived, the body image, even in the face of calamity.

Sure, times are indeed tough for women. They still continue to be their looks, their body. What was so apparent was the fact that these public perceptions are so intensely internalised by women themselves that even when suffering from the dreaded disease, the "look" continued to matter even for a well educated, extremely upper class woman. That is the real cancer indeed! What say?

Pratima@Being looks conscious even in the face of a dreaded disease is the real cancer gnawing at women and their self perceptions!

A poem

 Pure as rain bathed trees

 Often shimmering like a mist covered plain 

 Each time appears anew

 My poetic inspiration!

Pratima@ A poem should be as rare/as the rainbow in the arms of a larger one!

Quoting Womenfolk

 Whenever a man harasses a woman, a typical question gets asked which quotes, which refers to  womenfolk who are his relations, be it his mother, be it his sister, be it his wife, be it his daughter, be it the cousin, and so on. At times, when the issue is indeed grave and serious, even the grandma is remembered! 

However sad such a quoting is, it may/need not always shame the villain, especially when the man concerned is a shameless crook. In fact, it may even be maintained, though every generalisation is always problematic, that men who harass other women not related to them would most probably have a problematic female relationship in their intimate circle. 

It could be an overbearing mother reducing him to a mamma's boy  or a bossy wifey on whose maika ka monies the poor soul depends for survival, and hence has to bear her bad behaviour every which way , i suppose.

Having a harridan at home is no excuse, however, to harass other absolutely innocent women, however much a contrast they might be to the horrid harpy of a hag back at home, right? It is always such unhappy men, whose womenfolk would be up to no good every possible way, who would bother, ill-treat other women

By contrast, men, whose womenfolk are a s(up)port, would never need to quote or harass anybody else's sister or mother. The best example of my assertion could be Shivaji Maharaj. Since he had an exemplary mother like Jijabai and an ideal wife like Saibai and a good sister, too, he never ill-treated any woman. Even when the most beautiful daughter-in-law of the Kalyan subhedar was ''available"to him, he sent her away with respect, her dignity intact. I can quote any number of such wonderful men in folk themes to literature to real life.

In brief, home is where good or bad behaviour is reared! 'Ghare' is always 'bahire'!.

Pratima@ Home is where the (he)art of decent behaviour is/begins!

Despise if you dare!

 Remember Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice? In the initial Longbourn chapters in the novel, there is a very interesting scene. In a party, Elizabeth guesses that if she is invited as a dance partner, it is to mock her, to deride her, to consciously belittle her. She rejects that invite stating openly that she has seen through the game. The title of this blog is a take off on her parting shot.

In real life, facts are stranger than fiction. Let me give you a few examples. If the person, for example, who apparently has the power to pass the work involved, starts yaking about how the person passed some one else's work, nay, even managed the very draft in seven days, because that person provided "every thing", what would be the deep structure of this message?

Suppose one's so called relatives are not exactly happy that one is progressing, doing well, and hence go out of their way, no holds barred, money, gossip, scandals, all sorts of favours extended to some crook or the other to trap one? What if one is so horribly straightforward that one does not even recognise such behind-the-back contraptions for quite some time? How many times does one walk in to mazes!?!The worst problem, moreover, is that there is no proof against such subtle viciousness!

Suppose one has come up with a good, unique insight, and is working on it real well, and suppose behind one's back that very insight is provided to someone else because they all are in cahoots? One is informed about this subtle sleigh of hand out of the blue. One confronts the people concerned. Answers can hardly be satisfactory. One is pressurised for further material. People are spying on the books one reads. Little bits of such information reach all sorts of people. For whom? For the advantage of the person to whom one's idea is passed on?

In other words, there is a very subtle, indirectly woven conspiracy behind one's back. What does one do? Walk in to it? Be victimised in multiple ways? Or dare such hypocrites and their hyper powerful mafia to despise? Either ways, one is victimised. Either ways, for no fault of one, one would face countless difficulties and huge losses! 

Such sick games get played everywhere. Suppose there is a singing group. One gets invited to sing by an elderly person whom one would not like to hurt. So, despite multiple difficulties, and even despite the mourning mood, one does a decent job of it. One sends the recording on time, and only when it is to be played, a technological error erupts. Nothing before, nothing after. Okay, none can help the technological hitch. How to ignore the conscious smirks and the uncontrolled/uncontrollable body language and facial expressions that tell the real tale? 

One knows perfectly well that all of these nefarious activities are conscious, taken up to please the powerful or to lick the feet, not to mention other ugly appendages, of the people whose favours are thus being returned at one's cost  so that those favour granters can appear to advantage by belittling one!

Sure one laughs at the cheap childish pettiness of it all. Sure one does pity the crookedness involved. How does one protect oneself from such traps? Especially as an intelligent, sensible, sensitive person, one has seen through the whole game? 

Well, anyways, one is such a small fry in the entire scenario that nobody would come to one's rescue either ways. People who care for one would indirectly support, but without getting their skin scorched. To begin with, one does not want them hurt or bothered in any way as one deeply cares for them. All that is great. Yet the main issue is unresolved, how to save oneself from such traps? Walk in to them knowingly, do one's best, get roasted live, or completely avoid the victimising thrown at one time and again?Each time look at it as a new learning experience?

Yes, this game is the greatest when a man, to hide to his personal and/or familial problems, spreads everywhere the good news that he is interested in one, though one has never shared a  simple handshake or a full cup of coffee with the grandee. But even the worst bugger on the road taunts one about being a loose "chudail", a "crazy nut" (what stupid lousy English, of course!). Yes, sure that reflects on these paid minions and their masters for sure. Yet again though, for no fault of one, one is in deep trouble. 

One cannot react in any way as one has seen live demos of how girls have been declared mad by the rich and the mighty. One would be accused of all sorts of imaginary and absolutely false crimes/scandals even by the oh-so-liberal-democratic-feminist gangs as such men(!) are their friends! These very worthies would be encouragement incarnate for extremely cheap floozies, known real well for their drink and dope ways,  whom they themselves, too, acknowledge to be so!

Tough times! True, in real life, as in literature, Darcy's are not dime a dozen. But one has to continue being an Elizabeth, saving oneself from all sorts of  Wickham's and Cousin Collins, quite a funny task indeed! Remember the end of Eliot's "Preludes"? "Wipe your hand across your mouth and laugh!"

Pratima@ One bears the Abhimanyu feel as one deeply loves one's parents and one's siblings. What else?

Harassment

 How to deal with downright crooks who continue forever to harass?

 After all, when do ridiculous fools get it in to their head that they are weird?

Rather, how long does one ignore the constant, undeserved ill treatment?

Are these crooks so thick skulled that they cannot understand that they are completely ignored?

Sympathy by strangers is not needed at all, but empathy by the near and dear ones matters a lot.

So many people want to side with the harassers so that they get their share of mollah, their slice of the pie!

Mentally challenged is surely the harasser, and his behaviour is no joke to be ignored forever.

Enough is never enough for the crooked monster! How to din it in his thick skull?

No is a no, when would the fool and his stupid followers understand?

Train you self to completely ignore the brute, one repeatedly makes from self the demand!

Pratima@ Harassment is harassment is harassment! Full stop!

Respect

 We have all seen most all performers touch the stage before stepping on it for the first time. The gesture appears as if they are bowing down to it. At times, it does look as if it is a mere ritual, and showy at that.

 Despite such oft repeated gestures, (classical) singers touching the earlobe at the mention of the guru or any other great singer, for example, and despite the 'drama', the 'acting' involved in it, that respect, however showy, makes us feel respect for the artist, right?

It seems Amitabh Bacchan removes his shoes while greeting his fans. In a way, that kind of respect is indeed much deserved as no performer can be totally complete without the audience, if not, the fans. Just as students are at the centre of  teaching, and a teacher has to respect this fact without pandering to their whims, a perfomer, too, has to respect the audience, however superb his art. A lovely symbiosis of an ideal give-n-take, right? Both ways it works, give respect and take respect, right?

In fact, i would like to go a step ahead, and maintain that showing respect, without licking anyone's feet, without lowering one's own self respect is indeed an art, and only genuine people, however a small fry they might appear to others, manage it.

Well, these days, the excessive exposure in the social media seems to belittle the allure, the charm, the mystique of respect, i feel. There are two sides to it, too. The YouTube videos can create many Eklavya's without the sincere dedicated practice for hours on end. One has to just create a smart video with so many editing, impact enhancing, photoshopping tools available. Often hence, veracity vanishes, and with it, respect, right?

Yet another aspect of this process is that respect vanishes when you see a person 24 by 7, and with warts, and all. Everything then appears false, an act put on, as in the multiple talent and reality shows fixed beforehand, and for reasons that hardly command respect, right?

Despite such horrible PR jobs, and false fandom, real respect for genuine talent never vanishes, what say? Market may maraud most everything, but never the genuine respect, given and taken. What say?

Pratima@ "Respect for ourselves guides our morals, while respect for others guides our manners," says Laurence Sterne, one of the most respected novelists in English.

The bestest Friend

 Who is our bestest friend? You may wonder why i am using such a double superlative? Sure, English does not allow it. May be, the Bard did use it. But that was some four hundred seventy years ago. Not permitted any longer. But he does deserve it, and, in fact, only it, the double superlative, in every description of his.

Yes, you guessed it right. I AM talking of the one and only him, the pet dog. What total dedication has he, and what infinite love! Let me give you a concrete example. My brother has a pet dog, Tasha. My brother loves him a lot, takes utmost care of him as if he were a child. 

And yet Tasha has reserved for me a corner of his huge large heart that pulsates in that small little body. Actually, what exactly do i do for him? Get him treats that he loves, and pet him a lot, chat with him most lovingly. Believe me, our meets together are hardly thrice or four times a year. And yet that small little being, a beagle, remembers every one of our activities together ever since he was a pup. 

Whence this huge fund of love? Such a small little brain and a tiny heart in comparison with that of a human being! Yet unbounden is the affection. So many qualities he has in abundance, love, affection, patience, loyalty, care of and concern for the master, benevolence, remembrance, the list can be almost endless. Huge is his joy when he welcomes you home. Honestly, at times, one feels pet dogs are much much nicer than many human beings. 

Believe me, he even communicates, talks with his tail, why he can make multiple types of sounds, too, but truly with his lovely eyes that go real round when he has to convey some special feel.  The curl of his warm body against one's legs, one's stomach or right next to your face  (as ten times during a night he would curl and re-wrap himself around your hand or feet) is simply divine. No wonder, if you were to re-read the word dog the other way round, it reads god!

Pratima@ Love animate and honest, without any demands, that is the canine pet!