More Musings

While arguing yesterday that a parent should be friendly, but not a friend, was I being orthodox? Conventional when I wrote that a mother or a father need not share a whiff or a drag with the progeny? Currently, it is so hip to prove to the world that you are hep that generations gather to boast of their vices!

In my vindication, let me remind you of the story of the thief who was to die at the gallows. "I want to whisper the most truthful...," the thief maintained. The kind judge agreed immediately as it was anyways the death wish to be granted.

When his mother went near him, the thief almost bit off her ear. When the judge asked him to explain the apparently bizzare behaviour, the thief said,"that was her punishment for not stopping me when I committed the first crime." 

The apocryphal story proves my point that a parent has to be a parent, has to discipline the child, not encourage his vices the way a friend may. 

A point to prove could be the choice of a career. Many youngsters choose a branch because the best buddy goes for it. If the very same year, the friend's father is transferred, there is evry likelihood that the so-called good friends may nevr meet again. In the process, however,  a lifetime is lost due to the choice of a wrong career.

A parent must bring up the child in such a way that such temptations do not ruin their progeny's future. Often though, a father may indulge the child a lot so that the child always gets what he could not during his days, his childhood and/or youth. There are half-witted mothers who either do not think things through or want their dreams fulfilled vicariously!

Parenthood is a responsibility, not a risk wherein you can play with a future. Hence parents have to be mature, and not act immaturely in the trendy, bum-chum fashion. In brief, treat the child with respect when his shoe size matches yours/ Use the similarity to understand where the shoe pinches; yet never throw the baby with the bath water!

pratima@trendy trickery targets, rather than trains!     

Paradigm: More Musings Further

 Robert Frost has written an interesting poem entitled "Mending Wall". It ends with "Good fences make good neighbours." It is a principle that would suit parenting as well.

In a filial relationship, too, boundaries are necessary. A father can be friendly, but cannot , and need not, be a friend.  Similarly, a mother can be matey, chummy, but she cannot and must not be a mate.

To begin with, the filial and the friendly are absolutely different spheres, though not mutually exclusive. They fulfil totally different emotional needs of an individual. Hence the need to mark boundaries between the two. Friendship often is ephemeral; filial relations are eternal. Given this different timeline, the two intersecting sets share characteristics, and yet they differ.

A parent, who is too pal-y, does not command respect which is an essential feature of parenting. Excessive buddy-buddy behaviour by a parent generates contempt,right?

A child may even get confused by the overlap which may add the  `confusion confounded' feel to life which anyways is quite a maze. An example may suffice. A parent cannot and should not fill the kid's wine glass. A friend might. A parent instead must prove by precept and example why such secondary sources to bolster a tottering selfhood are dispensable. A parent may discuss/ share eevrything under the sun with the son, and yet the mode, the manner, the material would essentially differ from a friend's. Certain limits, some boundaries would emerge, and have to be necessary in the friendly filial relations. Good fences, in brief, make good filial relationships as well!  Any response to this provoative problem?

pratima@peer pressure must be prevented, it should not metamrphose anew in gory garbs!

Paradigm: Further Musings

 I signed off yesterday with Icarus. In my opinion, the Icarus story, often associated with human vaulting ambition and/or imagination, is a story about filial relationship as well.

Who was Icarus? For the uninitiated, let me briefly narrate his story. According to Greek mythology,  Icarus is the son of Daedalus. His father, Daedalus, happens to be a superb craftsman. Apparently, they want to escape Crete. The father creates wings made of wax and feathers. These contraptions are dicey though. If Icarus flies too low, the  dampness of the sea  would clog the wings. If he flies too high, the sun would melt them. Apparently, in his excitement or due to his pride, he flies too high, thus too close to the sun. The ineveitable happens!

Why do I think that the Icarus tragedy reflects the filial feelings/failings? In my opinion, Daedalus is like the much too much indulgent parents today. Such a parent provides the progeny with everything the brat demands. Neither the sun nor the moon could be the limit to the indulgence of such a parent.

In the process, the child becomes self-obsessed. Nor does the kid know how to take a `no', while, later on , life is often going to hit with a brick, at times by tons. In other words, due to excessive pampering  born out of indulgent, liberal parenting, the child's future is at jeopardy. May be, the tiger parent's kid would never suffer this way, used as (s)he is to negation, discipline, self-control. Hence I feel that a judicious mix of the two paradigms, the tiger parent and the libereal parent is the ideal solution that my own parents sure provided.

What do you think? Any response(s)?

pratima@such a rise can be the fall 

Paradigm: More Musings

Let us continue the discussion yestrday. I would like to say that it is not just motherhood, but all the relationships can be thus bifurcated. A father can be a tiger dad or the liberal daddu. When it comes to filial relationship, I think, the best would be a balanced, mature combo of both the types.

 I would certainly say that my parents were such a combo type.There were certain basic rules, a primal discipline, but beyond that there was a congenial feel. We had the liberal freedom to choose our professions, but we had to follow the choice strictly. That balance made us both happy  and achievers in ou own defined, all-rounded way, and despite really tough times.   

Actually the binary paradigm operates in every field. A boss can be a tiger boss or a liberal friendly type. Given the horrible professional politics, better would be a colleague and/or boss who is a combination of both the types.

That certainly holds true of teachers who are quite important in everybdy's life. As they say, a mother/parents happen to be our first teachers, while teachers are our second parents. One again, better the combo, right? In fact, I would like to say that every relationship has its own axis, its own circumference, and it must be reciprocated. A parent or a teacer must be open-minded, but such a friendliness does have its unstated borderline.

What do you say? Or do you agree with me  that in this binary, there is a need to respect boundaries, the good fences that make the better neighbours.

Do let me know.

Pratima@ Icarus' wings                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     n inherent power structure?                                       

Mom Paradigms

Who is a better mom? The lax, the liberal mum? Or the tiger mom? But before you decide, first better to know the concepts, right? The lax, the liberal mum is the paradigm popularised by the West. Oh, yes, between the paradigms, there is undoubtedly multiple differences, class, continent, region and race wise.

The lax mom mostly would belong to the  upper class family. Since the family is rather well-off, there is not any compulsion to pressurise the child in any way. This paradigm would let the baby be. It is always his/her perspective that matters in such a context.

The tiger mom, on the contrary, is certaily a South-east Asian phenomenon. It, undoubtedly, has a racial tone. Most often, it would be the immigrant family trying to assimilate in the new context that would have such a mom. Class, too, would certainly be involved as the family would have migrated in the first place to greener pastures because of the socio-economic lacunae faced in the parent('s) country. As settling down in a new, everyway different, context that is to be a ladder to a better lifestyle later, such mom's would want their children to be mini-adults, always on their Sunday best behaviour. There would always be an attempt to attain multiple accomplishements also as a way of survival. 

Amy Chua,  Yale Univ Law  Professor, caused a furore  in her 2011 memoir by presenting this paradigm based on, I think, on the aspirational feel. Such a mom's child  would be pressuried and disciplined to be an ideal version of self, winning many medals along the way.

Which  is the better paradigm? In my opinion, a judicious mix of both is necessary. What do you think? Share your comments, please. A few questions before I sign off. Oh, yes, how abou the "mammie" paradigm and its (racial?) implicatures? Sure India has a similar concept called the "doothdatri", the feeding mother,  because the biological mother cannot or does want to breast feed the baby.

And, oh, yes, now with the IVF, would the petri-dish be a mon pattern, too? How about surrogate motherhood, another mode of class-oriented exploitaion? Did the pandemic `all always at home' mode change the mommy patterns? How did the care-giver (mother's eternal role) manage `work from home' while managing 24 by 7 taking care every which way? Did it affect Daddy duties? May be, only in the urban upper claass contexts? Or did it lead to multiple violences? And who would be a happy and/or successful individual? The tiger mom's cub or the lax mom's ladla/ladli? Multiple questions, answers though are not galore. Hence the need to think about the mom paradigms. Any response? You could think aloud in the Comments Section. I shall sure get back to you.

pratima@need to open up such paradigms as they influence family                  structures as well as related roles such as teacher concepts                  in the long run

Time, the virus

Time is the virus

All rank-n- file it corrupts. 

Despite such witchery

A grieving heart in tears erupts.

Each loss is atrocious

Every sob obnoxious

But, oh, the loss of a parent

Sole of its kind, is a pain ever insurgent.

On the occasion of Aai's fourth mensual anniversary,

pratima@ less is more!

Aai!

Ample soulscapes

Abundant perspctives

Individual pattern life could be 

Aai, because of Thee!

On the eve of your fourth mensual anniversary (already!!!),

a simple tribute!

pratima@less is more today!

Mother Nature

Recently read a news item. Apparently, it was the usual environmental story of how human beings are encroaching the animal habitat. What was unusual was the fight a mother put up for her child. The mother-daughter pair were in the bushes bordering the forests when a tiger attacked the young daughter as an easy prey. The animal held the child in its jaws. 

The mother put up a solid brave fight. She hit the animal with a branch. The angry animal attacked her ferociously, but the daughter could escape literally fom the jaws of death. Before the tiger could yet come again for the child, the mother, a wiry, hardly educated woman was fighting the ferocious animal in such a spirited fashion that soon it chose to slink away. 

That is a mother's nature, protect the progeny. The Discovery Channel and The National Geographic videos prove that this perennial feel is a primordial trait, present in wild animals as well. Our pets and other domesticated animals provide ample proof thereof as well.

Just behind our backyard, there was this family that used to rear goats. Now there is a tower though. Some proof of how human beings  are treating Mother Nature! One of the nanny goats that family had was somehow disabled. She could not run properly or fast. Instinctively, may be, she knew why her kids were being fattened. The moment her kids would be taken away from her even for a few minutes, she used to create a huge racket, bleating away to no end.

 As I used to give them twigs from our garden, the green peas shells and such munchy stuff, she used to limp up to the fence and ask for my help. She used to listen attentively when I would try to reassure her that her kids would soon be with her. She used to actually whimper and grunt, but calm down, anxiously awaiting her kids with the "ayenge, Mere Karan-Arjun ayenge" assurance.

That is the mother nature. The title of our blog today includes all shades of the ambivalent expression; mother's nature, mother in nature/animal world. It refers to the protecting streak, the extreme love unconcerned with the hardships to self. 

Before I conclude the blog, I want to add that actually it is the "parental" feel, not merely maternal. The paternal passion is equally intense. Hence the quote that goes, "nobody on this earthe can love you more than your parents".

pratima@"Next to God, the parents"      

Guru

 Guide they us gently, often and all along.

 Us they make not tough, but truly strong.

 Ride of this life is hence a wondrous song

 Us they thus make stand out from the throng!

This quatrain by me, I would say, describes all sorts of Guru's, the teachers, philosophers, guides of all shades and varieties. I would say though that my quatrain best describes our parents, right?

On this special occasion of Guru Pournima

Am dedicating it hence to Aai-Papa

In honour of their lives, with love and in awe.

pratima@ with a prayer that wherever they are, they feel the love

 

Yet another reason!

Yes! There is yet another reason why I write these blogs. Let me explain that fact as well.  At the time of her sad demise, Aai looked extremely calm and quiet as if she was just fast asleep. Neither her face nor her body had that uglines of rigor mortis. Except for the glacial touch of her body, she looked as if she could just get up any minute. 

Why, even the scratch she had when she tried to pull out the nasal tube she was fed with, and was also fed up with, was slightly  visible. She was that normal in death. In life, however, since January when her oral feed was pushed down her trachea and she had a huge coughing fit with oxygen jumping up and down acrobatically, she looked very ill. A self-respecting woman like her would not like that Ryle's tube, moreover.  It riled her for sure.

She looked very ill, truly fragile. The general feel when she passed away, hence, was "She is now relieved of her pain, of all her troubles." In fact, many openly said so.

That was not the way she lived though. She loved life. She enjoyed many aspects of it. Why, she rarely fell ill as such though minor and some age-related issues would be there. Basically, she was feisty, she was hyper-sensitive, she was hyper-romantic. I think, I am writing on the blog to celebrate that lively Aai ever full of life. She lived life with contentment. 

I want that reality of hers to be celebrated. Not the last few days when every physical action must have been a pain. Joy, happines, mirth would be her middle name. These blogs are up to celebrate that genuineness of her.

pratima@ choose joy in evrything you do 

Why Posts on the blog?

Why do I so consistently post write-up's on the blog? Keep related status on the what'sapp? Because I love to write? Nope, that is not the reason coz I do have literary, critiacl, theoretical spaces wherein I can create scripts with value addition,too.

I write here on this blog because my feelings, my emotions are involved. Yes, as one of Aai's senior relative hinted, neither she nor he would return because I write this blog. I know that. In fact, the only wish I have for them is that they enjoy infinite peace wherever they are, especially after a life full of difficulties and strifes galore.

One of the reasons could be I want to keep their memories alive. After every demise, life carries on, the world goes on, as it must. In that inevitable fast forward journey, however, the junctions that defined our very routes, our every track must forever remain significantly visible. Hence this nostalgic trip down the memory lane, and beyond.

Yet another reason could be that I wish to wipe out conscious misunderstandings, prejudices, perceptions created against them knowingly out of jealousy, hatred or simple mean oneupmanship, constantly practised. Just because many people support such devilry out of whatever compulsions possible, it does not mean that the ganged-up lies should go scotfree. Let me give a concrete example. Aai may forget a thing or two due to old age. There are many downright cranky oldies who are much, much better experts in this field. A goof-up memory-wise happens even to the best of youngsters. Hence the need to esablish the sharp creativity and intelligence of Aai. Similarly, Papa knew the worth of money given his difficult life. That does not make him stingy. There is a foever urgent need to protect and project  the innocence of these simple folks, genuine people. 

Otherwise, horrendous lies under the guise of fun memories would float foever. One of her relatives has this impossible, creepy story of how Aai would ration out her semolina kheer. Why this queer memory, whence this outlandish memoir, hope at least the Lord knows. Hence the need for a genuine narrative that shows all their goodness in all its wonderful glory, simple but genuine.

Am I in the process making them angels by the hearth? No way! I am just celebrating their genuine worthiness, and my love for them!

pratima@ continual respect and love that transcends the mandated                        mourning period

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 10

     The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature :10

 It is Aashadhi Ekadashi today. Even when the traditional wari, the usual pilgrimage, could not take place due to the dreaded disease,Covid, the fervour of the day remains hale and hearty.

On this day when the whole Marathi ambience is drenched in devotion, not to mention the usual monsson worries, we are going to say good bye to our series, at least for the time being. Let us end the series with the "Pasayadana", one of the greatest prayers in the whole world.

It is the final, and yet always abiding, prayer in the Dnyaneshwari. We are going to discuss it as the finale of our current series because embedded in its text are many a facet of motherhood. Let us here look at some of these.

In this exceptionally poetic prayer, Sant Dnyaneshwar opines that the wickedness of the evil should vanish forever. A very maternal invocation is this. A mother, in fact, both the parents, mother and father, are ready for every ordeal so that the child does not suffer the hurtful harm inflicted by the bad. Why, the parents of Sant Dnyaneshwar himself accepted the cruel punishment for a sin never committed so that their children's lives would not get destroyed by the societal rigidity. In fact, this intense imploring makes the prayer truly maternal in spirit, whether it would refer to an individual mother's wish for her child or the "Jagat Mauli", Sant Dnyaneshwar, invoking the ideal way to goodness for the whole world.

Yet another facet of the prayer is Sant Dnyaneshwar imploring that all the darkness of all the sinfulness should vanish from the whole world. Yet again it is a very parental wish. The soul/sole desire of the parents is that the child should never ever be sullied in any way by any sin. It is wonderous indeed to know how parental was the great sage who had such maternal tenderness (and for the whole world) at the ripe old age of twenty-one!

Yet another aspect of this great prayer is the supplication, "let(s) everyone attain whatever (s)he aspires to", yet again an ardent wish of parents. It is the ultimate benediction of a parent, a mother, a father. In fact, so imbued is this invocation with the filial love that every word echoes with it. Indeed it would be an enriching exercise to thus attempt to analyse the entire text some time soon. For the time being, let us bid farewell to our series by maintaining that the filial feel is indeed the bedrock of the saintly ideations.

pratima@ celebrating the deep filial love beyond any bounds     

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 9

     The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 9

In this penultimate enunciation of our series, let us today, on the eve of the Ashadhi Ekadaashi, look at an indeed unique aspect of devotion to Lord Vitthal and the mother figure reflected in it. 

What helps a common man survive in the corporeal world? It is his profession that gives him/her not merely money, but the very identity as well. In the saintly poetry, this profession is often referred to centrally. Sant Janabai's appellate for herself is, for example, " Jani, the house-help of Namdeva".

Many other saints, too, refer to their professions in explicit details and as metaphors for their relationship with Vithoba. The submission, hence, of this presentation is that the profession that so closely connects the saint-poet to his Lord is, too, a paradigm for motherhood. The livelihood feeds physically, Like a mother. Similarly, the livelihood in its intensity  becomes sustenance, for all that is the good in the selfhood. This aspect functions like the nurturing of the soul, heart and conscience of a child by the parents, often mostly by the mother.

"Kanda, mula, Bhaji" (=onion, radish and veggies..) by Savta Mali or " Deva, mi tuza sonar" by Narhari Sonar or abhanga's by Gora Kumbhar are a few examples. Hence this attempt because in such abhangas, there is a complete and total development of the base metaphor of vocation that empowers the avocation. The work ethic, often instilled by the parents, especially by the mother strictly, hones the self. Hence my submission. Actually every word, every line in these abhanga'a fits in to such an interpretation.  In brief, like mothering, in the sant wani, there is no othering, even professionally!

pratima@self extended to include the hands defining us in multiple ways, and beyond the typical head/heart/soul trinity

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 8

        The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 8

It was the height of summer. Paithan, a major seat of Vedic knowledge, was reeling under the usual Marathwada heat. Godavari was almost bone dry. The ass lying in the burning sand was very thirsty. But for a swig of water, it was sure to die soon. People passing by could not are less. In fact, most all were irritated with the sight.

Along came Sant Eknatha. He was carrying water for devabhishekam. He could not suffer the torment of the poor animal. He poured the entire mugful of water in the mouth of the suffering animal. The donkey felt rejuvenated. In no time was it up and away. This pity and mercy, absolutely essential ingredients of motherliness, are oft the living values of Sant Eknatha. That is to say, not only did he preach the motherly kindness, he practised it. His motherliness, moreover, was so inclusive that in a very enviornment friendly way unheard of then, it included even the flora-n-fauna.

Yet another incident could prove my assertion. He used to always bathe in the Godavari. Once a naughty, mean and jealous fellow consciously decided to irritate him. He would throw dirt at Sant Eknath the moment he would finish his bathing rituals.. Without once getting angry, Sant Eknath kept on repeating the holy rituals time and again. This kind of forgiveness and tolerance happens to be the plinth of motherliness as well. As babies, children dirty themselves umpteen times. When they grow up, their tantrums, their callow opinions, their prejudices hurt the parents repeatedly, but they never give up loving their child.

In another incident apparently, Sant Eknath would be ready to face the wrath of the entire town so that he can feed the needy. It is just the same way that often parents, in a very principled way, stand up to the entire clan to support their child's decisions. In other words, the filial feel in a very inclusive and deep way pulsates in the lived life of Sant Eknath.

His writings sure reflect it, too. He, too, would use the mother metaphor to describe the god-devoteee relationship. Often the by then usual tenor-vehicle relationship of bird-fledgling/nestling, cow-calf, et al, and god-devotee are abundantly present in his writings. After Sant Dnyaneshwara, if there is any other saint/poet, who radically interprets the relationship, it is Sant Eknath because, like Sant Dnyaneshwara, he practises what he preaches. No wonder, on the sands of Time, his footprints loom large us for us to follow the mother love path `where mercy, love and pity dwell/there God is dwelling, too'.

pratima@ God made mothers as he cannot be everywhere.

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 7

                   The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 7

The saint-poet we are today going to look at is not exactly associated with the motherly affectionate tenderness in the popular imaginary. Mostly, he is considered to be the guide who would help the devotee lead a life in this world, without being of this world, Often, morevoer, he is associated with Lord Shri Rama.

If, however, we were to look at his entire ouevre, especially his abhanga's, we realise that he has composed any number of verses dedicated to each and every godhead. So large-hearted, catholic is his perception that he finds all of them to be the manifestations of Shri Rama. Let us some other time discuss this brilliant vision that questions and critiques and rejects the differentiating sub-sects.

Right now,given the present focus, let it suffice to maintain that the wor(l)ds of affection resonate most tenderly in his writings. The best example of this warmth would be that sure he does use the metaphor of the fish out of water to describe the centrality of god in the devotee's mind.

The most apt example, however, would be his use of two conventions not so very often used in the literary sphere. In Sanskrit and Marathi literature, it is believed that a fish remembers its offspring as a mode of bringing it up. The very rememberance of the child is the way of rearing him. Similarly, it is believed that the tortoise takes care of its little one just by looking at it. Sant Ramdas makes use of such unusual images that look at the world beyond the rational and the logical to establish God's care of-n-for his devotees. He sure does use the well-established cow metaphor, the mother bird image as well to describe the intense love of the Lord for the devotee. The mother figure in his writings is, in brief, unique and remarkable. 

pratima @ the genuine motherly love best reflected in `other' images 

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 6

             The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 6

Let us today meet the mother figure in Sant Tukaram's ouevre. Sant Tukaram is an interesting individual indeed. He is bothered in the private sphere by his wife who is irritated  with his devotion to Vithoba that has not made the familial life any easier. In the public space, he is not interested in the profession imposed on him by the family lineage. He is a thorn in the side of the establishment/system, moreover. He needs succour galore, and he finds it in bhakti/devotion.

So strong is his devotion that, in his lore, miracles galore abound such as his writings drowned in River Indrayani remain intact and God incarnate takes him, all alive, to the Elysium, not mere heaven, mind you, in the heavenly vehicle.Given this intensity and the passionate quality of his devotion, the motherly love is a dominant metaphor in his writings.

There is yet another reason why this filial feel pulsates strongly in his writings. Of all the saint-ly writings, his is the closest to the common man's lived realities expressed in a style very much like the daily parlance of ordinary life. No wonder then that the mother figure, the very base of life, should  meet the reader often.

In fact, in addition to the usual bird metaphor repeatedly used in most all sant writings, he makes use of simple but deeply dramatic and highly emotionally charged and, hence, effective experiences such as a newly married bride leaving her maternal home for the first time to go to her husband's place .

Writes Sant Tukaram, it is the mother's heart/soul that knows the best for the baby.  So is the God's protective care. Adds he, the parental love is the only love that demands no return favours. It is a pain that needs no gains. It is this transluscent purity that makes a mother's , a parent's love, like the divine support of the devotee. Our mother suffers us all through her life, our unforgivable mistakes she pardons, the way we might knowingly or unknowingly hurt her, nothing matters to her, just as she  lovingly and without a complaint/grudge bore us for nine months, almost died giving us birth. In Sant Tukaram's opinion, only the Lord can shower such immense love without anyexpectations of  `return gifts'!   What wonderful tribute to the eternal bond!

pratima@ the true love, filial or divine

                  the loved one it re(de)fines!

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 5

            The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 5

The blog article today is going to leapfrog almost by a century. For one thing, ours is a article series that is theme-driven. It is not exactly a chronology consistent narrative that I am presenting in this blog. To better understand the mother figure in the bhakti tradition, I do think that  let us understand its depiction by Kanhopatra, though, of course, this fast forward is sure going to travel back in time so that we understand the motherly feel in the writings by other great saint-poets.

Why this sudden introduction of Kanhopatra? Who was she? She was the outcast of the outcasts as she belonged to the world's oldest profession. Her beauty was her bane. Her plight shows how in this man's world, a woman is judged by her appearance, and not through  her soul, her inner being.

For Kanhopatra, hence, Vithoba is the ultimate refuge. The way a mother's saree pleats are the best and safest retreat for a child of three or four, Vithoba and the temple premises are her ultimate asylum. As she is being dragged to an unfortunate destiny, she wasnts one final duologue with her God. Granted that wish, she dies at the Lord's feet.

So the Lord is her saviour, the way a mother's hug is a child's ultimate sanctuary. A baby finds the ultimate safety in the mother's arms. Similalrly, Kanhopatra's real retreat is the lotus feet of the Lord.

No wonder, in her Abhanga, Vithoba is addressed not as "Are", but as "aga", a feminine vocative signifying intimacy incarnate. Yet another of her central image is Pandhari as her maher, her maternal home and Vitthal-Rakhumai as her parents, the way they have een for ages, for all the downtrodden. 

Her famous most image is the ultimate of the mother love. To describe her plight, she compares it with the tense, helpless feel of a doe whose fawn is in the paws of the terrible tiger. So repeatedly, she passionately appeals her only and real mother, God, to help her out. It is this intensity of her passionate appeal to the Lord as the mother, the h(e)aven of safety, freedom and safety from all her trials and tribulations that made me fast forward and present her motherly image of the godhead. For her god as mother is not a mere word, it is her very world! 

pratima @ mother as the safest h(e)aven

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 4

                      The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 4

Let us discuss Namdeva today. Ineveitable is the choice in a way as Sant Janabai's and Sant Namdeva's divine destinies were intertwined. So much so that Janabai addresses herself as "Namyachi Jani", that is, the maid who belonged to Namdeva.

My perspective for now looking at Namdeva's use of the mother motif is slightly different. For one thing, right from the early stages of his devoteedom to his later evolved phase, Namdeva prioritises `bhakti' over even dnyan/knowledge, penance, rituals, asceticism or detatchment. He lived the life of a grihasthashrami/householder, but with the naam/recital of the Lord's name as the antedote to this possible separation from god. 

Often in his writing, the vatsal rasa, that is, affection or enderaing fondness is the leitmotif. In his life story, often we have incidents wherein he would obstinately insist in a child like way that the Vithoba idol must partake the prasad offered, must feed him like a mother does a baby. Given this very intimate indulgence often granted by his soulmate, Vithoba, the mother feel permeates his poetry.

Just as he often glorifies Pandharpur and praises Vithoba till the utmost, the last limits of the heavens, he often refers to his God as his `mauli', as the Aai of all the oppressed, every dispossessed. Why, he even uses baby like words, the affectionate childrenese to describe his bond with his deity, Vithoba, whom he often presents as a baby or as a child, as the Bal Krishna, naughty, lovable, As his often repeated metaphor puts it, the bird may fly away from the nest in serach of food. Yet every feather supporting the flight flies back to its chicks. That is the intimate relationship between god-devotee, the empathy between the baby and her/his Aai!

pratima @ the tenderness that is deotion

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 3

           The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 3

In this series, today I am going to discuss Janabai. The rationale behind this choice is multi-layered. The foremost basis for this choice, however, is that the Janabai phenomenon extends the very notion of motherhood, makes it most inclusive. 

Janabai apparently is multiply disenfranchised. All the societal norms, be it caste, class, gender, profession, each one is an instrument of oppression in her case. Yet it is her devotion that makes her equal of her master, Namdeva, why, of the entire array of Marathi sant/bhakt poets. She makes thus the notion of the Lord's motherlinees very compassionate, hugely democratic and truly inclusive.

The other reason, of course, is that one of her abhang is entirely  devoted to the notion of Lord Vithoba as the mother with all the major saints of her times as his kids. Sant Nivrutti is atop the Lord's shoulder, while he is holding Sopana's hand. It is Dhyaneshwar who is leading the motherly figure whom Muktabai is trailing. Thus goes on the entire metaphor worked out in thorough detail. 

What we can envision is an indulgent Aai lovingly hoding her kids together. The word picture this abhanga creates always reminds me of the "Jivati che chitra" that  Aai used to put up in the month of Shravana year after year. The abhang has the same sense of the motherly togetherness with her children.

Yet another remarkable aspect of this depiction is the deep, abiding sense of affection and cordiality that shines throgh in some of her other writings as well. In other words, she picturesquely presents the mother figure, and so vividly that the writings by this woman who had no earthly relations enriches the divine relationships.

pratima@mother is "what" you are, and not merely "who" you are in                  relation to the child 

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 2

                       The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 2

The lonesome foursome siblings, Dnyaneshwara and his brothers and sister, are the lodestars of the Marathi consciousness, each in his own way. If the elder brother, Nivruttinath, is the guru, the father figure for his orphaned younger siblings, Sopan is the tender grace of the younger, the gentler brother. It is, however, the youngest, the sister, who is indeed special. 

Her very name has "aai"/mother in it. She could be and was the mother figure to her great thinker/philosopher brother as the "Tatiche Abhang" assert it. Why, this young girl in her late teens could be the fairy mother figure for the ancient Changdeva, and train and educate his nascent vision magically!

I have always wondered how she would have shouldered the responsibility of an entire household on her very young shoulders after the parents left for the punishment for a crime neither the parents nor the children had committed. Nivruttinath would not be there either as he would be training under Guru Gahininath.

Undoubtedly, the tradition ensnared patriarchal mindset prevalent then must have made her life as a young woman a nightmare in multiple ways. Despite that unmistable viciousness,  there is not a single bitter note  in her `abhangas'. In fact, like a naughty, witty girl's, her bhakti communication is rich with the puzzle effect.

The deepest, most complex philosophical truths and tenets emerge in her poetry in a vivid, in an almost surrealistic imagery that makes the reader unriddle it. Unmistakable is the playful joy. Her writings are hence a treat for the head, the heart and the soul. She is indeed the `'Mukti", the ultimate disengaement, the unshackled liberation.

As in her most famous abhanga, there is a tremendous richness in her images enshrined in a intricate complex thought process presented as a riddle. So the ant can gulp down the sun, the fly can give birth to a kite. The child like innocence of this flight of fancy presents together impossible dualities, tongue firmly in cheek. Yet the deeper symbolic associations of each image are immense. Each one of her works has that rich combo of unique, evn contrary, notions, experiences yoked together with brilliance, both poetic and philosophical. Meet the mother of mothers, in brief!

pratima@ " hasyat ma sat gamay!"/May the                                  innocent joyful laughter                                             lead me to truth!

The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 1

            The Mother Figure in Marathi Bhakti Literature : 1

It is the first day of the lunar month known as Ashadha in Sanskrit as well as Marathi. It is that day of the year again when we remember the first line of Kalidasa's "Meghdootam". The rich poetry in that famous line and poem we have not managed to `sustain' though.

The Ramtek knoll near Nagpur may now not be as picturesque as it was in fourth/fifth century CE. The celestial beauty of the skies as in the "Meghdootam" may no longer mist-ify our urban souls.

And, yet, come Ashadha, and a deep yet transluscent river of deep devotion and ardent affection never seems to go dry in Maharashtra, however arid lives may turn, with or sans Covid. This mighty yet gentle force that fuses the Marathi mind beyond all differences belongs to the unique Bhakti poetry of the Marathi sant parampara and the `wari'. the annual holy pilgrimage to Pandharpur.

Central to this poetry of ardour and reverence is the  mother metaphor. In our blog, hence, beginning from today till the Ashadhi Ekadashi, let us explore the maternal motif in Marathi bhakti poetry. Let us concentrate on the post Chakradhar Swami, past the Mahalamba era.

Let us begin with the epoch of the Jagatmauli, the  mater universalis, Sant Dnyaneshwara. He graced this dismal place called earthly life for just twenty-one years (1275-96). The brightest of the brilliant, he was harassed endlessly. He had to face impossible indignities. Yet he was the first to radicalise the dormant societal structures by making elite knowledge accessible to the commonest of the common (wo)man, thereby shattering orthodoxies of knowledge making and distribution. Thence tumbled all the differences destroying the societal soul. No wonder, a tender youth of twenty-one, he symbolises the arch maternal feel, `mauli', the gentle, the mellow, the forgiving, the gracious, the Mother.

Not just the mother though! One can say the entire familial feel is alive and pulsating in the credo, the catchphrase that ends each one of his "abhanga", namely, " baap rakhumadevi vara". The parental/baap and the conjugal/var pulsate in this `tagline' as the Z-generation might like to call it.

Note how this great philosopher poet, who could so inspire the dumbest of the dumb animals, a he-buffalo,to rattle off the Veda Richas effortlessly, uses words. the "var" in the byword that ends each of his "abahnga" could be both the consort, and it signifies the superior as well. 

The " maye" in many a compositions by him means similarly both an intimate appeal to Lord Vitthala as the mother figure and it could as well be a reference to the deceptive `maya' that takes the devotee away from his own self and its unity with the godhead, beneath all appearances, beyond all dualisms, with the very principle.

In fact, the maternal home, the 'maher' is a strong leitmotif in his writings. Such familial tropes as `maher' or `sansar" feel familiar for the common man and include the intimacy, the affection, the togetherness the Lord shares with the devotee. Yet another mode he uses is the god as the child. Tender affection spills brimful beyond the lines when he uses the child simile or when he refers to the Lord indulgently as "Vithai" or "Krishnai". 

Such is the exqusite grace of his rich oeuvre, which addressed his elder brother as "gurumauli", that like the baby Krishna's tiny mouth, it contains capably the entire universe itself . No wonder, he is not merely the "kaivalya rajyachakravarty", the emperor of the realms of  episteme, of the divine ecstasy.  Rather, he is the mother of mothers, the jaganmauli.

pratima@ ever grateful to Aai for granting us the `Pandharpur born'                     status 

Because she was a mother

In one of his rather celebrated poems , which has become still more memorable due to the music and singing by Hridaynath Mangeshkar,  the Marathi poet, Grace, presents, as many suppose it to be (despite the multiple contrary interpretations), a dirge on maternal death.

Related to it is an anecdote about how  a calf would always cry whenever  it would hear drums getting beaten. Apparently, each time a drum beats, says the calf, he would remember his mother whose skin went in to the making of the drum.

That intimate is the relationship between parents, often the mother, and children. So physical it is, and yet so emotional/spirtitual. Its philosophy, its ideology have been much debated/discussed, even negatively, too.

As tomottow begins Ashadha, the month that made Kalidasa write "Meghdootam" (ashadhsya pratham diwase/megham ashlishta sanum), I have decided to write on the depiction of  the "mauli" feel in the Marathi bhakti poetry till the Ashadhi Ekadashi. 

Till then, let me conclude with Christina Rossetti's appeal, "and, long us bless/receiving as you give/Great Happiness!"

pratima@ "Aai (-n-Papa), you are the best/

                  For your affection ain't death any test!"

A (Wo)man of many (p)arts

                                          A (Wo)man of Many (P)arts

Yesterday counted seventy five strong entries in this blog! Not a mean feat indeed. Neither is the quality of the content cheap. Have tried to use many a forms as well, except though the overtly visual. Actually blogs are mostly vlogs, video blogs or at least visual rich blogs. Well, I am celebrating a couple who, like their daughter, believed in the worth/wealth of words.

Words made worlds for them both, Aai and Papa. Words mattered for them, they abided by their words, they neevr used a loose word against anyone. Both were man (and woman) of many words. Both loved to write. Detailed diaries, poems, traditional forms on such occasions as marriage, for instance, Aai attempted all. Papa loved to write letters and model essays (he had cleared his UPSC- Mains). He wanted to write the story of his rather rough life. Both had diametrically opposite styles. Hers was bare to the bone, his more ornate. No wonder, he revered his Prof. Gokak a lot!

Indeed in their own honest and modest ways, both attempted many an art. Hence the title of the blog today. If Papa loved music, Aai was good at drawing. More of a `kansen', he loved to hum to himself, especially the `natya sangeet', and beyond the bathroom walls, too. He loved to attend classical music concerts. I remember him taking us to the Sawai Gandharva music fest often. 

He loved to visit the great ones at their homes. He thus `met' (for a few minutes, of course) P.L.Deshpande, Ga. Di. Madgulkar, and Sachin Tendulkar. As he himself had that whacky Kolhapuri sense of humour and as he loved cricket to distraction, he must have enjoyed the visits. 

Aai was good at painting. I have already talked of all the household arts she was adept at. Her drawing and sketching were indeed rather good. Her self portrait, as I almost used to force her be active in every creative way, is both authentic, honest and artistic. So are some of her other sketches.

In their own small but sincere ways, they lovingly practiced such arts. Most important of all, their simple lives had not an ounce of artifice nor artificiality. Living itself they made in to a signification, a simple art with its own gravitas.

pratima@ "Amha ghari thor shbadanchich ratne" (words are the precious jewels at our home). Praise be to Sant Tukaram.  

Parents: A Haiku : No. 7

                                Parents: A Haiku : No. 7 

The holy fire 

of the colourful Holi

of the masterful yadnya

cleanses,  re(de)fines

nascent Narcissus emergent Orpheus.

pratima@ filial relationship

N.B. :

For the last seven days, i tried to use loosely the haiku form for exploring the filial relationship.

Avoided any visuals as our times are anyways drunk on the non-verbal mode, emoji's, for instance, anyways!

Parents : A Haiku : 6

                                  Parents : A Haiku : 6

Nor purely the content

Nor merely the style

Nor solely the camera

Nor merely the light

Not solely the focus

Not simply the act

It is the team spirit

With the director's vision bright

That makes it with life a pact!

pratima@ reel life is a paradigm for real life via parenting

Parents : A Haiku : 5

                                                                Parents : A Haiku : 5  

A genius sculpting out

the hard, dark granite.

Boulder chiselled away

Demons within to slay

Beautiful vision in array.

Inspired palms carved away!

pratima @ parents `shaping' children 

 

  

    

                                                  

Parents : A Haiku : 4

                                                 Parents : A Haiku : 4

No stroke more, no shade less

None to implode the nameless grace

Perfect symmetry, space ideal

Line fragile, shaped subtle

Texture silk soft gentle.

Pratima @ parents @ portrait perfect

Parents: A Haiku :3

                                                     Parents : A Haiku : 3

The perfect discipline 

of each note, major or minor

the rhythm gliding by tender

words precise, nary one more

Bliss absolute and pure!

pratima@ music is the food of love @ parents as well.

Parents : A Haiku : 2

                                                 : Parents : A Haiku : 2

Summer Showers

Full of Thunder and Fury

The Fragrant Feel Unique

The Rejuvenated Cosmos

Readying for Creation.

Filial Love!

pratima @ less says more

 

Parents : A Haiku : 1

                  Parents : A Haiku : 1 

The home made pickle 

Tangy Sweet Sour Sweet

In porous glazed porcelain pots

Healthy 

Handy

Taste full

Lasting a lifetime!

pratima@ perfect amalgam of form n meaning 

A Small Little Poem

Aai 

A three-lettered word 

A trinity of 

Care, Concern, and Common Sense

Your three layered microscope to

Scan all sicknesses and contagions.

Papa

Disproving the disrepute of  

Four-lettered words 

Patience, Perspective, Persistence n Passion

The chromosome fusion fashioning us.  

Parents  

The seven letter melody

magically entwining our lives into 

Ever upbeat ditties 

despite dastardly dragons 

in all shapes and sizes!

pratima@ unusual etymologies