March 19! It is Aai's birth anniversary today. Hence the title of this blog which tries to unfurl some of Aai's unique qualities.
And, yes, she was unique, she was special. To begin with, look at her birthday. Just a day apart from Papa's. Sure there were the years in between. Yet I do not know of any other couple whose birth dates are so close to each other!
In fact, Aai was born on March 19, and passed away on March 26, and Holi, her date/day of birth as per the Hindu lunar calendar is in March, too. Somehow this (not exactly a) coincidence reflects on the integrity of her personality, I think.
Why do I think so highly of her? Let me explain a little. Now a days, girls go to the other end of the globe, why, in the space, too. When she got married in the late 1950's, it was not so. The means of communication used to be a post card that would reach earliest after a fortnight, and a telegram would most often mean some tragic news.
In those days, she was married off some two hundred kilometers away. Why, there was no broad gauge train to Kolhapur from Pandharpur. Oh, yes, she met Papa directly at the time of marriage, and yet there never was any protest on her part. There was a strong tolerance and contentment at the core of her personality.
Even today, Kolhapur is 'different', aggressively truculent, and quite patriarchal. Six decades ago, it must have been much worse. She had to suffer a lot. Yet never have i heard her speak a single bad word against her in-laws.
In fact, her afternoons were never ever spent gossiping away to glory. She used to instead stitch our clothes, prepare pickles, masala, wheat satva, and so on. She did not 'work'. Yet, as a housewife, so efficient was her running of the household that my parents, they, never needed to borrow a single penny. Nor did she ever bother/harass Papa with demands of new sarees nor for jewellery. I tremendously admire this contented and self respecting spirit of my parents, especially Aai.
Given the ill-treatment by the elders, both of them, Aai-Papa, had to suffer a lot initially as there was absolutely no support structure/system to fall back on, and salaries those days were not much to write home about. Moreover, given Papa's honesty and sincerity, he had to often face transfers.
Aai had thus to withstand Mumbai, Bidar, Nashik, Aurangabad, places that must have been very difficult for her to adjust to, as basically she was from a very small, typically Marathi, three-tier town. She had to be all alone, too, the whole day till Papa would return home (from the CST to Karjat, to give an example) which must have been tough for a young girl from a big family!
Her household was always neat and tidy. She cooked excellently, and in perfect measure. Never ever did we eat left-overs. It was always fresh, wholesome food, and without the 'lots of tomatoes, onions, garlic and coriander leaves in abundance' formula.
She was excellent at very many handicrafts. Our home hence had a simple grace. She was good at singing, at writing the traditional poesie forms for family gatherings. As a member of a singing group, she sang, and was the narrator at very many quasi-religious programmes. Very organised and perfectly disciplined used to be her day. Never ever would she loll on the bed nor watch serials mindlessly. Why, when she was in the U.S. with Sanju, she maintained a daily detailed diary.
Since her fifties, she started her studies of the sant wangmaya, the bhakti literature in Marathi. Sant Ramdas (she was a tutor and examiner, too), Sant Dnyaneshwar, Sant Tukaram, the Geeta, she studied each text assiduously. She excelled herself at the studies (as a rank holder, she won prizes, too), and helped other devotees in a big way as well.
She was extremely straightforward, and without any duplicity or hypocrisy which she hated hugely. She was hyper sensitive, too. Easily can such people be misunderstood. And yet there was a wonderful sense of humour, jolly fun about her. In brief, very many qualities of head, heart and soul she had, and hence this tribute to her, both as a daughter, and as a student of human beings/behaviour!
Pratima@So nice she was to those in her vicinity (with very good people skills) that her physio, whom she treated like family, messaged me at 12 midnight to remember Aai on her birthday!
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