A Father with A Mother's Heart

The season was the blisteringly hot Aurangabad summer. Mangoes were aplenty. But we were small. You know what Papa was doing? Instead of polishing off the mangoes himself, he was peeling each one most carefully, slicing neatly in to small pieces each one, and feeding us. Aai told me, her cousin, who had come to visit them, was absolutely non-plussed by the sight. You know, who that cousin was? It was Govind Mama whose own father was gentle, too. 

But that was Papa for you . Extremely gentle, very kind and deeply loving, truly selfless and genuinely sensitive, in fact, sentimental. Long time back, circa mid-May, I had hence decided that when I write the blog on June 21, his death anniversary,  I am going to entitle it "A Father with A Mother's Heart."

Let me narrate yet another incident. Each time I would go back to Hyderabad, he would reach me to the railway station. Once it was pouring. Ten times I requested him to go home so that he would not get wet waiting at the platform. But, no, nothing could take him away from the platform till the last bogey would leave the platform, He would continue waving to the hand I used to keep out of the window as much as possible. Impossible affection that one would never ever know how to reciprocate. 

He believed in you so totally that it would be impossible for you to break that seal. His " I believe my daughter totally" was as good as the greatest honour a child could expect. He allowed us to be. He gave wings to our dreams to fly, and yet it was done in such a self-effacing manner that it could even be overlooked overtly. Why, he had to suffer the Bombay-Pune up-down journey, and lonely stays in far-flung places so that our studies would not get disturbed. Both of them tolerated this penal punishment for almost fifteen years. Even when away, he would constantly think of our welfare. When I was an S.S.C student, he was posted at Sholapur. From there, he used to write and post model essays for me. Even when he would be at home on Sundays (no weekends then!), instead of lolling on bed, he would slog it out getting the grocery, and stuff. Once I hid his scooter keys so that he would not thus suffer, but he managed to find them out anyways.

He never even once slapped any one of us, forget beating us up. We were allowed all indulgences though he might not always like the activity involved. This list could include everything ranging from allowing Sanju to keep Jimmy to tolerating my consciously asserted atheism because he perfectly very well knew that all our rebellions would be ideal(istic), too. He had that total faith in all of us.

Not only did he encourage us in all our activities, he even used to attend cricket matches that Prasad played. In fact, Prasad told me that Papa did not miss a single one of his matches, however far away the ground might be. Arundhati remembers how he used to get roses of the local variety coz she liked them.

Along with Aai, he indulged us every which way. We used to regularly enjoy small little excursions, including the famous Pune Ganapati festival without fail. The Sawai Mahotsav was ours to relish. Despite the discipline regarding studies, we were otherwise the most indulged children.

 He loved gardening, and would try to plant one, an eternal hobby, like the numerous plans for an ideal two storeyed house of his own that he continually drafted. Money scarcity and the desire never ever to take loan were the villains though. Sure he was not stingy, but as he had to shoulder the entire responsibility, absolutely by himself, and all alone, before and after marriage, he would think twice before recklessly splurging. Why, he would never take coffee, his only indulgence, regularly or go for hotelling with colleagues or friends. Not a very chummy, chummy type, his friendships, as with Shah Kaka, Apte Kaka or the Belgaum Kaka or the Kolhapur Kulkarni Kaka, were lifelong.

Well, memories are like a river in spate, they can gush forcefully for days on end. But thus may not be the readers' patience. So the need to conclude. He might not have exactly been the friendly chappie that fathers are now supposed to be. But in that generation, that would hardly be the parenting style. With times change such relationship modules. But he was the bestest one could imagine. 

My entire babydom was his exceptionally loving bother coz Raju was small and Aai was taken up with his health issues.  Difficult to imagine those days a father who would change a child's nappies, take a three year old daughter along with him on a tour so that there would not be too much burden on Aai all alone!

With a promise to always keep alive all your ideals and dreams, Papa,

Ever,

Jayu.