The father-daughter bond is indeed unique. The Father's day, however, is mostly celebrated the typical patriarchal way. want proof? Look at most all images floated in and flooding the media. Even today, in 2021!
For a daughter though, her father is special. Her mother she adores, but her father she reveres. When Papa would say, " I have full faith in my daughter. I totally believe her", it was as good as getting the Nobel for Literature. Coz he had seen the weird chicaneries of life, and people. From close quarters. Sure Aai, too, could talk of the realpolitik of lived life, but for most mothers of Aai's generation, it was more/mere talk. Like the theory, while with Papa, it was more the practical, in that lab called tough experiences that could include the vicious residual rot both in the private equations and public puppetry!
Hence, despite all the feminist reservations granted, I would say that Papa treated Aai almost like a queen. That does not mean that he got her the bestest gifts of silken sarees and priceless jewels. Nor would she want it, neither could he afford it, given his very honest and principled lifestyle. But he provided her that unique special feel of being protected, of being cared for. Why, the illogical demands of his parents could not fetter him. He left all, literally all, and forever, to respect her honour. In those days, too!
What I have liked immensely about Papa is that he allowed us to be. Sure I chose a very safe career, but there was no pressure on his sons either to choose a particular path. He braved it out very tenaciously to help us out. We were never denied any facility. Why, when Raju, despite getting 65% in the Inter exam, could not get the engineering seat, given the newly minted S.Y.J.C. onslaught, he tried his level best to fight out the injustice. Once Raju chose his career, he respected that decision as well.
He allowed us, in brief, to dream our very own dreams, and supported us in the nightmarish aspects thereof as well. He was a very simple man. Straightforward and genuinely honest, absolutely loyal to his principles. Very helpful he was, and would go out of his way to help out, and all, even the frenemies.
Life was never easy for him, never even as a son. Not only did he earlier accept the responsibilities without a grumble, never ever did he later bitterly criticise the elders, post/past the ill-treatment. I suppose, that was because basically he was a very gentle and emotional, why almost sentimental, man.
It would be very easy to misunderstand him because he lived simply, however highly he thought. He insisted on a basic discipline in leading life. He was against wasteful, thoughtless spending of money. He was against showy exhibitions of any types. He respected all, but was quietly but bitterly against hypocrisies of all types. Nor did he conveniently compromise with his conscience.
He loved the beautiful aspects of life, too, be it music or sports such as cricket, table tennis or bridge. He was very good at these games, too. More of him and his sterling qualities tomorrow as it is his death anniversary tomorrow.
Today, on Father's Day, I would like to say that he was our guileless guide, trying to make our visions, our dreams, our notions abide!
Jayu @ Papa Proud
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