Robert Frost has written an interesting poem entitled "Mending Wall". It ends with "Good fences make good neighbours." It is a principle that would suit parenting as well.
In a filial relationship, too, boundaries are necessary. A father can be friendly, but cannot , and need not, be a friend. Similarly, a mother can be matey, chummy, but she cannot and must not be a mate.
To begin with, the filial and the friendly are absolutely different spheres, though not mutually exclusive. They fulfil totally different emotional needs of an individual. Hence the need to mark boundaries between the two. Friendship often is ephemeral; filial relations are eternal. Given this different timeline, the two intersecting sets share characteristics, and yet they differ.
A parent, who is too pal-y, does not command respect which is an essential feature of parenting. Excessive buddy-buddy behaviour by a parent generates contempt,right?
A child may even get confused by the overlap which may add the `confusion confounded' feel to life which anyways is quite a maze. An example may suffice. A parent cannot and should not fill the kid's wine glass. A friend might. A parent instead must prove by precept and example why such secondary sources to bolster a tottering selfhood are dispensable. A parent may discuss/ share eevrything under the sun with the son, and yet the mode, the manner, the material would essentially differ from a friend's. Certain limits, some boundaries would emerge, and have to be necessary in the friendly filial relations. Good fences, in brief, make good filial relationships as well! Any response to this provoative problem?
pratima@peer pressure must be prevented, it should not metamrphose anew in gory garbs!
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