Mom Paradigms

Who is a better mom? The lax, the liberal mum? Or the tiger mom? But before you decide, first better to know the concepts, right? The lax, the liberal mum is the paradigm popularised by the West. Oh, yes, between the paradigms, there is undoubtedly multiple differences, class, continent, region and race wise.

The lax mom mostly would belong to the  upper class family. Since the family is rather well-off, there is not any compulsion to pressurise the child in any way. This paradigm would let the baby be. It is always his/her perspective that matters in such a context.

The tiger mom, on the contrary, is certaily a South-east Asian phenomenon. It, undoubtedly, has a racial tone. Most often, it would be the immigrant family trying to assimilate in the new context that would have such a mom. Class, too, would certainly be involved as the family would have migrated in the first place to greener pastures because of the socio-economic lacunae faced in the parent('s) country. As settling down in a new, everyway different, context that is to be a ladder to a better lifestyle later, such mom's would want their children to be mini-adults, always on their Sunday best behaviour. There would always be an attempt to attain multiple accomplishements also as a way of survival. 

Amy Chua,  Yale Univ Law  Professor, caused a furore  in her 2011 memoir by presenting this paradigm based on, I think, on the aspirational feel. Such a mom's child  would be pressuried and disciplined to be an ideal version of self, winning many medals along the way.

Which  is the better paradigm? In my opinion, a judicious mix of both is necessary. What do you think? Share your comments, please. A few questions before I sign off. Oh, yes, how abou the "mammie" paradigm and its (racial?) implicatures? Sure India has a similar concept called the "doothdatri", the feeding mother,  because the biological mother cannot or does want to breast feed the baby.

And, oh, yes, now with the IVF, would the petri-dish be a mon pattern, too? How about surrogate motherhood, another mode of class-oriented exploitaion? Did the pandemic `all always at home' mode change the mommy patterns? How did the care-giver (mother's eternal role) manage `work from home' while managing 24 by 7 taking care every which way? Did it affect Daddy duties? May be, only in the urban upper claass contexts? Or did it lead to multiple violences? And who would be a happy and/or successful individual? The tiger mom's cub or the lax mom's ladla/ladli? Multiple questions, answers though are not galore. Hence the need to think about the mom paradigms. Any response? You could think aloud in the Comments Section. I shall sure get back to you.

pratima@need to open up such paradigms as they influence family                  structures as well as related roles such as teacher concepts                  in the long run