On one of the WhatsApp groups, there was this harrowing feed. It was the pic of an old lady in her early/mid eighties, well-dressed, with all the major jewellery items women of her age-group wear, with that typical upper middle class Brahmin contented look. In other words, she had the typical maternal look my generation would associate with our mothers.
'So far, so good', you would say. Why then such a title for the blog, why call the feed harrowing? Well, the pic has been uploaded on very many groups because this absolutely gentle genteel lady is nowhere to be found!
When an elderly person, especially a woman with some jewellery on her, is thus lost, awful possibilities open up. Did she face some medical emergency, is she in some hospital, did she meet with an accident, given the atrocious traffic? Has somebody harmed her, hopefully not fatally, for the sake of the jewellery? Has she been held hostage for monetary ransom? Much worse, is she safe as a woman?
Doubts and worries assail the family like angry bees from a beehive at which a stone has been hurled. Most often, however, the real reason could be that the person has clean forgotten who she is, where she lives, why she left home, to go to temple, to market, to a relative's place, where is it?
In other words, she is a victim of a 'dis-ease', of dementia, much worse, of an advanced stage of the Alzheimer's Disease. Such patients reach this stage because certain proteins form clusters around their brain cells, and destroy the brain cells' functions completely. The Parkinson's/Dementia/Alzheimer affected brain cells cannot communicate with each other.
The patient hence literally becomes a stranger to herself. For her, her own family are aliens. It is a very traumatic experience for the spouse if he is alive, for her children and/or grandchildren, if their mother has allowed them, or even her husband, to show some care, concern, hopefully love for the aged patient.
What are some easy solutions so as to care for such patients? First of all, they should not be allowed alone out of home. Next, there should always be notes with their name/address/phone number pinned on to the pallu, in the purse, et al. Most importantly, they should not be allowed to wear any gold. If they insist at all, artificial jewellery would do.
Most importantly, it must never be forgotten that one day, we, too, would inevitably reach that age. Those gentle hands, those kind eyes, that sweet soul spent a lifetime for our welfare, and most lovingly, happily, willingly. It is our utmost duty to become a better family for them when they thus become strangers to themselves!
Pratima@The caregiver has to switch the role. He/she must become the parent to the father/mother-now-grown-to be-a child. At times by coaxing, at times by scolding, at times through a small gift or two, or even some minor disciplining, he/she has to be taken care of. Just a thought! Were Bhakt Pundlik's parents suffering thus, which made him make the Lord wait, luckily for us all, eternally!
Quote of the day: "To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” True, Tia Walker!
Word of the day: harrowing Harrowing means extremely upsetting, terrifying, and/or deeply distressing.
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