Yes, sure i know the relevance of the Holi festival, and, oh, yes, from multiple angles. Yes, Holi is the transition festival, for instance, as the shishir rutu/winter season is receding, and giving way to the vasant rutu/the spring. Yes, i know that this death-birth duality makes it a festival that is "environmental wise"! Sure it includes a mix of the rural and the tribal. I am aware that it tunes in the restful, slow tempo to a farmer's life, especially after the hectic year long calendar, and so on, and so on, and so forth.
It is this hurt heart which refuses to be bound by/with these parameters the hardy head prescribes. For me, the Holi festival is forever associated with Aai. Holi is now, post her unhappy demise, her tithi wise birth anniversary.
As if that shade of sadness were not enough, the unfortunate demise of Dhanu this morning has now tinged the Holi fest with tragic associations forever. Aunt and niece shared a very special bond. No wonder, they are thus united posthumously as well!
Yes, i know that we must burn in the Holi all that is dross in human affairs, and, oh, yes, there are many negativities around which sure need a burn off. Believe me though that grief, sadness, born out of death, do not burn away ever. These cinders scald forever, in happy times, in sad times; when forever bloom the happiness buds, and even when the foliage of sadness literally seems to bury that nascent bloom.
That is life though. Must be faced, chin up! Here is accepting the warmth of memories, and here is simultaneously rejecting the livid flame of unhappy grief. Long live Holi, and all its associated feels!
Pratima@Holi becomes holy because of its deep associations and soul entrenched memories! if Holi comes, can grieving be far behind? However much you may train your heart, grief continues it to grind!
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