March 18 is Papa's birth anniversary. He belonged to a generation born just before the Indian Independence. The most charged years of the freedom struggle circa 1942 were his formative childhood years.
As a result, there was a tremendous innocence and a huge idealism to his personality. He actually believed in the purity of means and ends, for instance. Well, all the three of us siblings do that, too. But the difference is that we know that the rest of the world may not do so, while Papa felt it ought to.
Let me give a concrete example. I am stating my own case. Like Papa, I, too, believe that the means matter much, much more than even the ends. Absolutely agreed upon. Like him, I, too, feel that education, for instance, is not merely a salary giving employment.
Unlike him, however, I know perfectly well that for 95% people in the field, it is merely a salary cheque. I accept this reality fully, completely, totally, and what the rest of the world is/does would not make a dime of a difference to me. My idealism would never ever waver. But I would never even try to improve on, better the rest of the world. Papa would!
He actually believed that everybody else should also be good, should not indulge in any corrupt means, for instance. Great! I, too, would like to believe that there is no corruption of any sort, all are ideal, et al. But I accept that reality is never ever so, and, moreover, unlike Papa, I would never try to improve others because I accept that they would not, nor would they want to, as their priorities might be vastly different.
In all aspects of my life, I am absolutely every which way ethical, idealistic, perform everything most honestly to the best of my abilities, and leave it at that, and carry on, facing whatever such life within such surroundings has in store for me.
But, unlike Papa, I do not expect that the rest of the world better be so. It would not occur to him that such a clean insistence would be called all sorts of negativities, and he could not understand how or why.
He never drank, for example, anything beyond milk, and occasionally a coffee or a lemon juice. Drinking for him hence was a sin, and he would try to rectify such behaviour. On the contrary, drunkards provide me 'dry' amusement. Funny people they are, who are horribly self indulgent, and could be helped if they wish to, is my attitude.
He could not comprehend, similarly, how simplicity, just behaviour and good intentions can be misunderstood, or why these traits could be considered preachy, for instance. His was a vision that believed in certainties, may be, because he had to struggle a lot in life. He started shouldering the family responsibility at a very young age, sacrificed his dreams due to it, and yet had to suffer at the hands of his own elders.
The greatness of his innocence lies in not being bitter despite such treatment. He had very good tastes, loved music, literature, writing well. I wish he had worked on that. He loved his family more than himself. He was committed to a lot of welfare activities even during his retirement years. Whatever he took up, he put his soul in to it. An example could be his work for Alzheimer's. Honestly, so straightforward he was, I always felt he needs protection from this nasty, cheap world.
Papa was more like the ideal hero of the 1950's films, honest, genuine, sincere. Well, the creator has, too, realised that the world today has no use for such a mould. And yet everything I always do continues to honour him every possible way. Love you, Papa!
Pratima@ Hitch your wagon always to the stars, but let your feet be firmly be on terra firma!
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