Exactly eight months ago, Aai left us forever. Thereafter, there has not been a moment I have not remembered her. It is no different for Papa. His sad demise was in 1999. Yet every month on 21, I keep a fast in his memory. No, I am not talking about myself. For sure, not!
The issue I am trying to 're-solve' within myself is who exactly are these mnemonic epistles addressed to? Would there be somewhere in this infinite universe some place, some time as an entity where they would be, at least as an atomic existence, wherein these intense prayers for them, memories from the bottom of my soul and celebrating all that was best in them, would reach? A part of me says, yes, indeed!
In a way, it is like sending out messages, letters in this vast internet wo(r)ld. Some contact somewhere it makes that I am absolutely unaware of, and yet these words, these epistles of mine would mean something for/to that unknown reader in his her own way. When I think of the entire semiotics of the process, of the complex communication process involved, it makes me feel full of wonder.
There is yet a part of me, the doubting Thomas , the eternal to mean or does it Hamlet within me, that seems to ask me if this is a subtle self-indulgence. True, after the demise of Aai-Papa, within the thirteen days, and beyond, I HAVE experienced their presence, and, no, it was NOT a delusion born out of grief, despair and a sense of eternal loss. I am, moreover, of the opinion that in this infinite existence, there are zillions of unexplored sites/sights not yet explored/fathomed. Hence I never pooh-pooh any feel just because my paradigms do not explicate them. Well, in brief, here is hoping that my heart felt epistles to them both, saying that they continue to be deeply loved, reach them, where ever they are, bring them a little more contentment, a forever feel of happy peace!
Pratima@months may pass years by-n-by/to keep your serene memories alive let me forever try!
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